Ruben Farias

☄️☄️🔥☄️⛈️🌪️💁🏽‍♂️🌪️⛈️☄️🔥☄️☄️

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I tricked my brain into thinking that my job is a live action video game with real life consequences, and it fkn worked because it makes it so much more fun.

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I wonder what that wine tasted like—the one that used to be water that Jesus did some shenanigans to

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

These munchies are the truth. I cant stop eating these granola bars…and there’s a giant pile of them🥳

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Honestly— I don’t understand

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I’ve been trying to get myself addicted to video games again so that it can distract me from excessive online shopping. So far, the results fucking suck

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I drive differently ever since I started playing the F1 video game

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Ima cruise around and look for space ships

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I wonder when it was in my life when the light in my eyes went away🤔

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I take my job way too serious smh

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I’d rather just never watch tv again if it means dealing with a remote with dead batteries

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I honestly believe that my household appliances talk to each other when nobody is looking

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

If there was no such thing as meteorology, I’d be so tripped out about the weather

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I just got a new mouse for my work laptop. My life just got 420% better

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Ravishing Rick Rude, Don Frye, and Tom Selleck are literally the exact same dude

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

ngl I’d probably be remembered as one of the greatest baseball players to ever live if they’d just let me time travel and run some game on those foos from the early 1900’s

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

I just lived the last 30 minutes of my life believing with my whole heart that it was daytime right now, but irl it’s just past midnight…good times

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Being an adult is badass. Just spent the last 45 minutes eating ice cream

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

guacamole

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Fuuuuuuuu getting eaten by an alligator… hell nah

[Ruben Farias @Human5000]

Damn it seems you really gotta do some heavy research just to find out how to deactivate your FB profile