Stuff Christians Say

Funny things you hear in a Christian environment.

Send your funny Christian quotes to [email protected]!

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Check out this EPIC MOVIE THEATER PROPOSAL! Her reaction is priceless! https://t.co/mRkBvUeHrf

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Thing I want to spread in 2017.

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Hey, girl. How submissive are you? #ChristianPickUpLines

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

This church made a hilarious video! Tis the season to DTR!

https://t.co/2D60Cp0NpE

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

"My future spouse may not even be born yet." -creepy things you hear in small group

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If you don't have someone in your bible study group who takes forever to pray.... you are most likely that person.

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

When the senior pastor's daughter is super pretty, but you're too afraid of him to ask her out. #relatable

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Asked a girl out and she said the Holy Spirit told her no.

So not only was I rejected by a girl, but also the third member of the Trinity.

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

2 places i'm comfortable using the bathroom:

-My home
-My church

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Make sense to anyone else?

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

For you Jurassic fans out there.

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Friend -"Prophecy."
Me -"What spiritual gift do you have?"
Me - "...."

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

"I like that church, but it doesn't have a good coffee bar, so I'm not sure if I want to be a member." -Real overheard sentence at church

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Reading Song of Solomon like...

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

I want to change my Instagram bio, but I can't figure out what inspirational verse to use:/

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

"Gluten-free cookies are literally one of my 10,000 reasons."

-A real spoken sentence from a girl in youth group

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Every youth group has that "one girl" that every guy wants to date.

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

Maybe the Ice Bucket Challenge is an elaborate plan created by Pentecostals to get everyone baptized before the rapture?

[Stuff Christians Say @HumorQuotes101]

If I only work out one side of my body, does that make me unequally yoked?