Sheldon Lee Cooper

I have an IQ of 187, possibly the most intelligent human being on the planet. B.S. M.S. M.A. Ph.D. Sc.D.
BAZINGA!

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

We all have done that..

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

me: where's your proof?

friend: I just know

me: you..................................... just.......................................know?

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

"Rock, Paper, Scissor, Lizard, Spock"

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

What if Harry Potter is really a biography and we're all just muggles too blinded by our logic to know that we're reading the truth?

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Quidditch trash talk:

You fly like your grandmother, unless of course she flies well in which case you fly nothing like her.
Bazinga!

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

"Would you like to be the sun of my life?"
Girl: "Awwww! yes!"
"Then stay 150,000,000 km away from me!"
Bazinga!

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

#YouMightBeARacist if you laugh at someone's attempt to speak english even though it's not their first language

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

#SingleBecause I'm not an album. Bazinga.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

#SingleBecause I live in a world where phones are smarter than their owners. Bazinga.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Labra-Thor.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Me watching Harry Potter with a friend

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Age 4: I love Mommy.
Age 16: I HATE HER.
Age 20: Mom was right.
Age 57: I wish my Mom was here.

Retweet if you love your Mom💕
#WhatIWant

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Harry Potter is like Nutella. No matter how much you had, you still want more.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Retweet this with your bottom lip!
(99% of people can't do it)

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

PRINGLES: The only chip company in the world that doesn't sell air.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it..

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

There is no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium? HeHe.

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

Friend: 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed are you with Harry Potter?' Me: 'Nine and three quarters.'

[Sheldon Lee Cooper @HumorousSheldon]

"What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?"