Chase Capital

I turned a $12 overdraft fee into an empire. Your 9-5 is my Monday brunch. My tweets are not to be taken seriously. PARODY; SATIRE

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@elonmusk This is too expensive for it it to ever catch on. Why would Tesla remove auto-pilot and actively make the cars more unsafe?

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@elonmusk This is too expensive for it it to ever catch on. Why would remove auto-pilot and actively make the cars more unsafe?

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

Secured the exclusive vending machine contract for a local 3,000-student high school.

I ripped out the old machines and installed new ones with algorithmic surge pricing.

A $2 sports drink automatically jumps to $9.50 the exact minute the bell rings for gym class to end.

Extorting dehydrated 16-year-olds who don't understand variable pricing is the easiest $4000 a week I've ever made.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@TechLayoffLover Guess who owns the unemployment office

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

I run 12 short-term rentals. My nightly rate is only $49 so I dominate the first page of the algorithm.
But the "Cleaning Fee" is $350, the "Admin Fee" is $150, and the "Resort Fee" is $90.

Then I leave a laminated checklist on the counter threatening a $200 penalty if they don't strip the beds, take out the trash, and run the dishwasher before a 9:30 AM checkout.

I don't even employ a cleaner. I just pay the teenage neighbor $20 to reset the towels.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@AB84 You boycotting a $14 chicken sandwich does absolutely nothing to a privately held empire doing $9 million in revenue per location. They process cars faster than you process thought. Your little protest isn't a boycott, it's a rounding error. Enjoy your cold Wendy's.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

Bought a rundown self-storage facility out in the county.

Watched a guy load a unit floor-to-ceiling with his dead parents' antique furniture and family photo albums.

Next month, I changed the terms of service and tripled his rent.

He called crying saying he couldn't afford it.

I locked him out, put the unit up for auction, and had my buddy buy it for $50.

Texted the guy the next day and sold him his own family photos back for three grand.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@j_christo3 @t_sadiity Only bread I’m making is off a single mother of three who is racking up interest on her 2007 Altima that I sold her for $9000 at 27% APR for 72 months

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@barstoolsports The AI must’ve had agents that were long on Lockheed and Raytheon

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨#BREAKING: President Donald Trump says his potential candidates to lead Iran have been killed

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@rawsalerts

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

I’m not gonna lie here, upon first glance, I thought that was Nacho from Better Call Saul on the right

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Happy 32nd birthday to the iconic Justin Bieber.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@relveil @t_sadiity Oh okay, well since you asked nicely. This will be my last tweet

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@Chadonlychad @LoosieMerchant @t_sadiity Elon wishes he had my wealth

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@Chadonlychad @jctrynafuck @t_sadiity I ain’t gonna sit here and act like I don’t enjoy a frosty every now and then.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@ItsJustMoreSEC @t_sadiity The only trigger I be pulling is on the eviction notice to the single mother of three who was 2 hours late on her rent. Onto the next tenant.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

People believe this but won’t believe that buying a 2007 Nissan Altima from me for $9000 at a 27% APR is a good deal.

[World News X @WorldNews_X_]

🟢🛸 MULTIPLE GREEN ORB UAP SIGHTINGS Reported in Canada

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

Sold a 2006 Nissan Altima with 180k miles for $9,000 at 24% APR.

Installed a GPS kill switch under the dash. The guy missed his Tuesday payment by four hours.

I disabled the ignition while he was inside his shift at Wendy's, towed it back to my lot, and kept his $1,500 down payment.

Just washed it and put it back on the frontline for $9,500.

I’ve sold this exact same Altima to four different guys this year.

That car is my best-performing employee.

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

@MAAAAM218037 Good that’s the point

[Chase Capital @HuntDownCapital]

Bought a portfolio of distressed medical debt for pennies on the dollar.

Found a guy who owed $12k for an emergency appendectomy from five years ago.

Instead of harassing him with phone calls, I just waited until the week he closed on a new house and slapped a lien on the property.

He had to pay me the full $12k plus $4k in "legal fees" right there at the closing table or lose his mortgage.

I turned a $40 investment into $16,000 because his appendix burst in 2021.

I love this country.

[Solar Mind @Nebula0424]

@HuntDownCapital @t_sadiity CEO burner account LMFAO