Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda

I am the human embodiment of the Upper East Side. who the hell are you? Fashion Consultant on America's Next Best Phalegnhe. Makes a terrific egg salad.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

It’s Sunday. Beer with breakfast is brunch. Don’t fight me on this one, Leonard.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@elleighot Fuck the Holy Spirit—-Mary rated it 10/10 would do again, Kill the son— he’s used to it, marrythe father— but only if god is a woman 🤷‍♀️

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@neopetty I was just thinking about this... can you imagine what life was like before science screens? Must have been why religion was invented.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

DONT YOU...forget about me kids. I’ve got big plans for the coming month, provided the IRS stays out of my goddamn business.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

AUGUST FOOLS

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

CHANGE INTO YOUR BROWN PANTS MY DARLINGS because the bitch is back. A brand new episode of the Rochelle M’Hwinkle Vasselinda Show premiers tomorrow at 5PM EASTERN. My guest is he illustrious WINNER of the Rochelle M’Hwinkle Vasselinda FAN SWEEPSTAKES: @Fcabbins!!!!’nn!

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

To be clear I do support capitalism, but only so far as it benefits me personally.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

She wasn’t the only commie Jew stupping the Kennedys at the time but I digress...it’s behind us now. RIP Meryl Lynn, you’ll be missed.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

That is my sister, she’s insane.

[brendan 🦧 @bigfriendan]

Omfg

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

Who keeps mounting this neon sign above my apartment, come on boys it’s not funny anymore

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@maxthefunnyguy THEN QUIT WASTING TIME AND RAVAGE ME BEFORE THEY REACH THE GATE you medieval moron:

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@GiannaSheppard THERE IS NO FUCKING TOP TIER NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE AS FUCKING CODIFIED AND HIERARCHICAL AS THE PAPACY Barbara. And to answer your second question, no, I LOVE peanuts.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

“Not I” said the EVERYTHING

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

I want to have a film festival named after me, who’s going to help me do this.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@wetgarbage1 Sobbed?

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

One pro of dating me is that you’ll never be confused about when I’m ready for sex. I’ll just go into the bathroom and come out naked and it’s time.

[Big Time Maca @big_time_maca]

When you just can’t find that perfect thing to watch on Netflix. (Follow keylimepiecomedy on insta for more sketches!)

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

@wetgarbage1 I’ve got a hole you can hop into, honey. Can’t promise it’s any less hellish.

[Rochelle M'Hwinkle Vasselinda @HwinkleM]

I want to have a film festival named after me, who’s going to help me do this.