🗑Alex🗑

Just a big ol trash heap that talks too much. She/her

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

In other news. I had surgery a couple days ago. Gallbladder is no more. I've already been pushing myself past my limits. I need someone to swat me with a rolled up magazine. Granted, everything i shouldn't have been doing has been for other people. So. Who would?

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@nickj0703 I'm taking your Twitter away.

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

Lesson learned: dont ask for help.

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@nickj0703 You SLUT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING POSTING FOREARM? Lawd hamercy. 🥵

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@nickj0703 🗣🗣SHOW FEET 🥵🗣😆

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@nickj0703 And it's still just Kevin

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@OGsDontFold Jeremy!

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@nickj0703 @soarizard I'm a Jynx 🙃

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Spotted in Des Moines, IA

[maybe: k*rk @a_dose_of_wx]

It’s always “you’re autistic” and never “thank you for telling me that there’s a tornado in progress in Oklahoma”

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@39daph I couldn't stop sleeping like this if I wanted to. I slept like this even while pregnant 🤣

[The Lobster @LikeableLobster]

There may have been a few miscalculations on The Lobster’s part.

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@egoraptor This also speaks to the degrading literacy rate in the country because no one can recognize hyperbole or exaggeration or sarcasm and they just believe you're that person. And thats the only version of you. Just this one dimensional grumpy gamer dude with loud thoughts.

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@TraditionSarah @iWomansplainer @fridababy I have worked with over 60 babies now and I'll tell ya, bicycles hardly ever do the trick. And yes, i tell myself every time that I'm not doing it right, just to look up videos and find that I was.

[Egg Czar 🥚👑 @EarthBrah]

So our government is basically like "no don't mess with that— that's a load-bearing child sex trafficking ring"

[Keith Edwards @keithedwards]

MAJOR BREAKING: The two agents who murdered Alex Jeffrey Pretti have been identified:

Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa, 43
CBP officer Raymundo Gutierrez, 35

Make them famous.

[🗑Alex🗑 @IAmAlyJ]

@MattWallace888 Not to super make light of the situation, but this is a very Moira thing of her.

[That Blame Guy @ImToBlame]

So they gave Trump some fake intel just to see if he would give it to Putin and he gave it to him right away. Now European countries won’t share intelligence with us.