Galactic News Agency

Galactic news you can trust. Hard-hitting reports. Interstellar traffic. The Galactic Federation's #1 news organization 884 Galactic Standard years in a row!

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Sources within the Galactic Senate have revealed that recent bipartisanship is only due to benevolent corporate bribery. #politics #bribery

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

The Nihilist Party is running today with their "Nothing Matters" party platform, though due to a severe glitch in their messaging lists they are still encouraging people to vote.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Traffic around Rangus 2 has been slowed down due to a sentient patch of floating space alcohol. It was arrested for being over the legal limit and removed.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

The Galactic News Agency is looking for personnel in the galactic area known as the "Greater Washington, DC Area" to collaborate on a new #Galactic #News #Agency #Podcast. Contact us if you are interested. #scifi #DCPodcasts #join #corporate

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Sources within the Department of Paranormal Investigations have revealed that the Director of Operations has been extorting ghosts for years for inheritances and property rights in exchange for delayed exorcisms. #scandal #ghostgate

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Sources within the Chronal Defense Bureau are reporting that there have been 100% more apocalypses than usual under the current Galactic Presidential administration. #news #apocalypse #time

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

https://t.co/DRwifEApFo

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Federation high court ruled that time-clones can be charged for crimes committed by other clones as long as they are from the same timeline.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Federation courts have agreed to hear a legal challenge to erasing personal debts when a person's consciousness is replaced. #courts #news

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Chaos after a galactic timecast festival accidentally double-booked the same comedian from two points in time, causing spacetime rifts #news

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Authorities are on the lookout for a rogue thermomancer who has been causing food replicators to undercook all of their items. #manhunt

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

In a surprising turn of events, it turns out all life has just been an elaborate prank show that is being renewed for another season.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

The Galactic President condemned bio-supremacist groups after a rally turned violent and they stopped contributing to his campaign #politics

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Breaking: a newly discovered civilization is suing the Federation government for invasion of privacy over being discovered.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

The God of Earth is suing a spaceship foundry for using divinely enhanced alloys that infringe on his brand #metal #Earth #lawsuit #branding

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

The Galactic Trade Commission issues formal warning to stay away from Titanian home AIs due to reports of pro-robot-takeover brainwashing.

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

#Umbracon 943 has erupted into chaos after a panel on darkness-based #fanfiction turned into a prop-weapon-filled bloodbath. #conventions

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Warpway 87 is closed for maintenance today after an illegal dimensional destabilizer suddenly went off mid-warp. #traffic #dimensions #warp

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Sources close to Galactic Sen. Covfefe are reporting that he will introduce a bill to legalize warpway roadrage #traffic #murder #Covfefe

[Galactic News Agency @IGNAgency]

Galactic President Zarn Zarakus has declared all sentient life enemies of state. When asked to clarify, said, "don't worry, it's not you."