Ian Malpass

Software engineer. Dad in Minnesota. A rigidly defined area of doubt and uncertainty. Professionally @twilio.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

I also have the meta-feeling that I might have said that on Twitter in the past too.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

Every so often I find myself thinking of a joke and thinking “oh, that’d be good for Twitter” and then I get the feeling that I might have heard the joke before and it turns out it’s me from seven years ago.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

Disappointed that my garage heater is screwed to the ceiling, rather than being supported by nine inch nails.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@nkotbpartyomg @demew A local council near where I grew up opted to plant wildflowers on patches of council-owned land rather than mowing them. The only problem has been that one flower was far more effective at self-seeding than the others and now, a few years later, it’s just a sea of white.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@sophaskins Responsibly Use All Parts Of The Rich So As Not To Fall Afoul Of Wanton Waste Laws

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@sophaskins Stuff And Mount The Rich.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

“I don’t like the homemade bread. I like store-bought bread!” - my 10yo, who I have raised to be some sort of culinary Philistine apparently.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@Turigon Bit cruel to the maggots, surely?

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@demew “Ugh, now I have to break it.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@JamesWallis The Grim Reaper has already been and gone so I suppose a chess set would be too little too late.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@sophaskins (This brought to you by me, who has been pondering a whole-house backup generator but who also feels like maybe solar+storage might be rather better long-term.)

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@sophaskins If you’re doing big battery backup then that naturally leads to solar energy storage….

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@chrisfairbanx Yeah, there’s nothing like having a deep skepticism for your plumbing!

[Ian Malpass @indec]

Parents! A fun and easy thing to do with your kids is to show them where the water shutoff valve is for toilets, faucets, and the whole house. My 16yo averted potentially large flood today by acting quickly when a toilet cistern cracked when no-one else was home.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

Also a plumbing project because I figure now is a good time to replace the shutoff valve for the toilet before it fails, and again it’s easier to do with the toilet gone. I have a feeling I’m going to regret this particular decision….

[Ian Malpass @indec]

After removing the toilet, I realised now would be a good time to fix the caulk along the bathtub with the toilet out of the way. Removing the caulk, I found a bunch of loose tiles and cracked grout. So now my toilet replacement is also a tiling project.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@Turigon That sounds… unnecessary.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@DormainDrewitz It is exactly what it says it is. Bunch of people sitting at a bar, holding gently thawing packages of meat they’ve won.

[Ian Malpass @indec]

@saalon Maybe you’re just a generational talent at living through generational talents?