Greselda Mallard

I've always relied on the grindhouse of strangers.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

When you open a tin of soup & realise you don't want soup anymore.

That feeling.

Constantly.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

I don't believe in putting too many restraints on a Keanu Reeves character; I'm a neo-liberal.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

@AndyParrott1 it'd be brilliant, Live 8 x 10. Dave desperately failing to hide his frostiness and Roger over-egging the 'we're pals again.'

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

Why I watch Bargain Hunt?
Cos each day I hope for a charity special where Dave Gilmour & Roger Waters are on the same team.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

@tjpieraccini hmmm...Twitter has got stranger and less generous over the years.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

There are many important lessons you can learn if you simply sit down and watch Smokey and the Bandit

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

...but only after they've dipped them in vinegar first.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

There's a hula hoop family & they sell their young for you to eat.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

When you get a gazillion likes but no retweets.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

The '+1' TV channels, they're an hour behind aren't they? As if it were one hour ago. So that's -1 then, isn't it?*

*farewell civilisation

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

@pipterino I might email them and ask for the price in euros.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

@BobbyNuisance they're the burnt toast of the biscuit world.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

Of course if you're an 80s kid you may remember Philip Schofield explaining the phenomenon to us. Thanks Phil.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

A true 80s enthusiast will know if you slow down a PWL Kylie single to 33.3rpm it sounds just like Rick Astley.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

Head gardener.

#Lego

Sorry.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

I love that bit at the end where Scout runs in to the kitchen to discover Atticus is an alien from V and he's eating her pet hamster.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

Yes this is my way of telling you I watched the 15 to 1 repeat twice this morning. I feel no shame.

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

...then act all amazed saying "OMG it happened exactly the same as it did before...free will is just an illusion!"

[Greselda Mallard @IQAgony]

Create your own time-travel adventure by watching a tv show for 30 minutes then turn to its +1 channel & wait for it to start again....