ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ)

English Teacher, Humanities Professor, Dad of Many, A Useful Idiot, Humbled By The Void - He/Him/Y’all

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

THE CARS ON FIRE & THERES NO DRIVER AT THE WHEEL & THE SEWERS ARE ALL MUDDLED WITH A THOUSAND LONELY SUICIDES & THE DARK WIND BLOWS. THE GOVERNMENT IS CORRUPT & WE’RE ON SO MANY DRUGS WITH THE RADIO & THE CURTAINS DRAWN. WE’RE TRAPPED IN THE BELLY OF THIS HORRIBLE MACHINE…

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

Is there a Venn Diagram for people who are aware of Texas High School Homecoming Culture and the films of A24? Because:

Mumsommar.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

The ‘AR’ in ‘AR-15’ doesn’t stand for ‘assault rifle’, it stands for ‘ARe you sure you need a fucking gun like this?! It’s made for death’.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I’m super excited for Oasis fans, but let’s not forget everyone that was excited to see the Fugees in 2022. And in 2024. Oasis feels, I don’t know, similar? Let’s guard our hearts, gentle ones.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I made this in October 2020. It’s less funny now, but way more accurate.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

One skill I have improved Post-Beryl is that I can now piss in the dark with a 63% to 82% rate of accuracy. Pissing standing up, however, the percentage is considerably lower.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I don’t know about you, but I really feel let down the latest Cicada Horde. Orcas can only do so much.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

Dads: they’re good and/or bad, right?!

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

Let me say this real quick then I’ll go:
DAVID FOSTER EILISH. Thank you, sorry.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I mean, the eclipse was nice, but it felt more like Celestial Drama and I should’ve really been minding my own business.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I know I should’ve caught on sooner because we all know fascists prefer Pepsi. Honest mistake on my part.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I almost complimented a man’s “Share a Round with Antifa” shirt. HEAR ME OUT. It was a Coca-Cola parody, so I thought it meant “Have a Coke with Antifa!”, which sounds pleasant, but then I realized it meant “Shoot a Person with a Bullet” and I was, like, “Woah there, Fascist!”

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

This is my official application to Mad Magazine ten years ago.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

Always nice to find another Merval Avinger fan in the wild; lots of talk about Hot Guy, Thore, Ron Man, Holk, the Craptain, and Sad Wife was had. EXCELSPREADSHEET!

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

@ItsGuestGaming @MARVELSNAP Hope?! In This Economy?!

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

@keplyq What are they dune to themselves?! Sorry, hey KQ

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

@keplyq Look at that fella!

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

Shit-talking hits different when one is concurrently perpetuating war crimes, but go off, Pop-pop.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Good one, Donald.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I think Spotify’s Daylist feature is a pretty good alternative to the regular Daily Mixes, as far as diversifying my playlists, but this is a bold move, robot.

[ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʀɪᴄᴇ (ʜᴇ/ʜɪᴍ/ʏ’ᴀʟʟ) @IQuitWriting]

I went to an awards ceremony at my daughter’s school and there was a second grader named ‘Linda’. Isn’t that wild?