fawn

Boob-haver/single mother/hater of raisins/ichthyologist on alternating Wednesdays.

[Joel Jeffrey @joeljeffrey]

One the hardest parts of being in your 40s is having to looking at photos of yourself being in your 40s

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

You think bill collectors would be satiated with a few of the choice unsolicited dick pics I've gotten?

[Trophy Knife @sarah1mc]

Joke’s on you, I like being harassed.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

No, I’m not an enabler, I’m more of an unabler.

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

Ok, but hear me out... what if we don't have to make amateur porn because people are already looking down on us from heaven?

[Snorklhuahua @weinerdog4life]

Asking the Home Depot employee how much spaghetti this weed wacker eats

[Tommytoughstuff @Tommytoughstuff]

ME: (removing my AirPods) Not guilty your honor.

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[gets a little voodoo doll of myself and makes it do pushups]

[𝕤 𝕠 𝕜 𝕪💎 @sokyshipn]

sorry i’m late, i was at home sitting down

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

Science class, but it's just me insisting my boyfriend display how he doesn't hurt his penis when he lays on it.

[Valerie Tosi @valerie_tosi]

I’m 36 and still haven’t gotten approval from my parents, what’s your secret Pfizer?

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

The Scarlett Letter...but instead of an A for adultery...it's an A for asshole and we give it to anyone without a mask. Tell them they won The Patriot Award.

[J🐲C @thDRAGnrebOrN]

"You look worried." Thanks, it's the everything.

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

(In an interview)
"What would you say one of your strengths is?"
"Well Pat, I would have to say my ability to bait my boyfriend into an argument by putting on an imperceptible amount of mascara and then yelling "AH HA LIAR!" when he comments how beautiful I am without makeup."

[Dan Rather @DanRather]

There is about as much courage DNA in the Republican Party as there is tuna DNA in a Subway sandwich.

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

God, if he/she exists, does not give a fuck about your right to own a gun or minimum wage increasing.

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

@VinoTica That voice has made me go all but silent on here. Do your thing. I care.

[fawn @ISOremarkable]

@mayaalexus @sza This is bad ass, congratulations!!

[LTB @_Tempo11]

Screaming into the void:

WHERE ARE MY PACKAGES

[Rainbow Fish @RAINBOWFlSH]

what if nipples clicked in and out like pens