Not ITV Press Office

Role-Play account to fill in for ITV's own deafening silence in the great @dapperlaughs debacle 2014

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

Hi @Mizzzzah, the boss man @itvpresscentre is @Mike_Large. We will not answer questions on @dapperlaughs or anything that makes us look bad.

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

No, thank YOU @susehill! Glad you enjoyed. The world would be a worse place without @DailyStarSunday Merry xmas from all @itvpresscentre!

[Susan Hill @SuseHill]

Ahhhh amazing night at the @Itvpress Christmas drinks. Too many names to mention but LOVES you all xx Thanks for having meeeee xx

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

You're also a pedant. "@Roofty: Thanks @ITVpress although to be precise..I am a Belgian!!! LOL -"

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@ellacopter We can't promise anything! Hope you enjoy

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@David79669078 7. I've seen the contract.

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@NMRUK @ITV @vidispine @cantemo We did!? Ha! Who knew!? That was literally like reading a foreign language. Well done us! @itv!

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@hannahkeeley_ Touché, touché. Very harsh. This is for charity, Hannah! And @Schofe is a lovely man.

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@katiewilko1980 @ITV4 C'mon Katie, they're cameramen! You can't expect them to be hitting trebles and checkouts too! #Bantz

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@Amy_Downie @jillianneathey Oops....!

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@JakeTweets01 @Scottieee We're hanging out the back of @SkySports

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@JakeTweets01 @Scottieee Before you even start, don't try to be clever and bring up the @tictacUK advert. ONE OFF.

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@calconroy @ITV @itv2 @imacelebrity https://t.co/B1CDqxKdPU

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@JakeTweets01 @Scottieee Debatable

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

Good call Stu! That's our dedicated lady channel. Boys will be wanting @itv4 RT: @Mortgage_Stu that ITV Be channel looks like one to avoid.

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

Christ guys @itv @imacelebrity, we're having our grammar corrected by a BELIGAN @Roofty Pull your finger's out! Thanks for spotting, Poirot!

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

Hi Donna, what have we done wrong? RT: @Eve48_ Down with @ITV and every disgusting thing they represent in #ImACeleb Low life crap is all...

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@Boycey_Boy Oi! Oi! Well played boys @ITVSport You always said they would pull the pervs in. #DoubleTop!

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@DavidJohns_ITV You're wasted at @itvnews! That was pretty funny. Made us lol @itvpresscentre. @ITV get him writing links for @imacelebrity

[Not ITV Press Office @ITVpress]

@Alex_Bairstow The boys @itvnews were flipping a coin all day on which one to lead with. Top banter in that office sometimes.