Very Average College Pitcher

Inside the mind of a retired very average college pitcher. Had a double digit ERA. I have more fingers than career innings. Took my talents to the golf course

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

2020 Season Stats:

13.50 ERA
3 Different Attempted Arm Slots
7 straight intersquads with at least 1 HBP
38 Sandwiches ordered from @jimmyjohns
6382 clicks on the pitch counter
1 tweet liked by @haley_crusee and @TGlasnow
4 good chirps
649 bad chirps

Great year if you ask me

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

At this point my strike throwing ability is more reliable than the @MLBTheShow servers

#LetTheBoysPlay
#CantPlayInRealLife
#CantPlayInVideoGamesEither
#VeryAverageCollegeGamer

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

#PitchersAreAthletes

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

@Ben13Porter That if I was born 100 years earlier I would have been a big league pitcher throwing “ched” at 85 with a wipeout slider. Yet. Here we are

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

If they don’t do a Non-Humidor Home Run Derby at Coors this year I will personally fight Rob Manfred in a 5 round UFC Championship style PPV fight

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

As a @Rockies fan, this is the best news I’ve heard since October 2007 😤

[Colorado Rockies @Rockies]

𝟬𝟳.𝟭𝟯.𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Hits off position guys should be adjusted for the stats. Like give this half a triple. Ooh big deal Dylan Carlson tee’d off on a 60 mph changeup. Well so did the entirety of 3 years of my college team during my fall World Series outing

[MLB Pipeline @MLBPipeline]

Cardinals rookie Dylan Carlson turns on the jets for his first triple of the year.

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Another proud older brother moment here but my little brother got his first college dub today. Something I can’t say I ever did, even in an ISquad. RIP. But congrats @garrett_shriver on the first of many!

#MoreWinsThanMe
#INeverWasCreditedWithALossButWhosCounting
#HeHasASaveToo

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Seeing Position Guys pitch and throw “80%” yet still don’t get hit and sit around the same velo as I did makes me think why I didn’t realize this was the wrong sport for me WAY earlier

#VeryAveragePositionPitcher
#ShouldHavePlayedGolf
#RetiredRealizations

[Cut4 @Cut4]

THE YERMINATOR IS THE LATEST

(•_•)
<) )╯POSITION
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> PLAYER
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> PITCHING
/ \

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

If I had one more chance to play another baseball game, no shot I’d want to pitch. Put me out in RF where I can drop a couple routine fly balls and go 0-4 at the plate but at least it’s a change of scenery

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Reminiscing on the time I went 1-13 in our Marathon game off a machine that was throwing 65 down the middle. My only hit? A bunt single back to the kid feeding the machine who was a month fresh off of Tommy John
#ThinkSmarterNotHarder
#PitchersAreAthletes
#IStruckOutMoreThanOnce

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

At this point I think I could be a 2-way guy on the Mets

[Jeremy Frank @MLBRandomStats]

In Jacob deGrom’s starts this year

Jacob deGrom:
14 IP, 8 hits allowed, 1 run allowed
21 strikeouts to 2 walks
3-for-5, 1 RBI (.600 BA)

Jacob deGrom’s teammates:
3 IP, 7 hits allowed, 7 runs allowed
2 strikeouts to 2 walks
10-for-59, 2 RBI (.169 BA)

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

I don’t think this one needs an explanation...

#YadisGloveNeverMoved
#BackstopMissle
#CantBeBallOneIfItDoesntCount
#EmptyTheTank
#StupidBall
#ItWasTheBallsFault
#VACP

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

My little brother in his first month of his college career already has a lower ERA, more Ks, almost as many IP, and more saves than I did in my 3 years playing. Taught the kid everything he knows. None of which was pitching but I think I can take partial credit

@garrett_shriver

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

I think if you put Bryson, Eric Byrnes, and Ron Artest in the same room the world would explode

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Bryson DeChambeau snorted three lines of preworkout and headed to the range @ForePlayPod

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

If they don’t do a Non-Humidor Home Run Derby at Coors this year I will personally fight Rob Manfred in a 5 round UFC Championship style PPV fight

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Best set up pitch in baseball. Absolute terror in that hitters eyes after that. No clue where the next pitch will be. That’s when you drop that lil 81 mph accidental cutter right in there...for probably another ball but ya never know

[Rob Friedman @PitchingNinja]

Gregory Soto, Elevated 98mph Fastball.

Very elevated.

[Aiden McIntyre @A_McIntyre50]

ARod just said “the best mechanics a pitcher can have is confidence” there’s a lot of confident dudes in the stands who cant throw a baseball 70mph 😂

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

A-Rod: “The best mechanics a pitcher can have is confidence”

Hey Alex you ever given up an absolute hammer of a homer that makes your coach regret recruiting you and makes you rethink giving up golf in high school? Didn’t think so. Stop the 🧢

[Very Average College Pitcher @IThrow80Poo]

Ohtani is the coolest pitcher to ever live