I Write Monsters

I wrote a book where a vampire and a Bigfoot fall in love and fight crime, yet I'm still allowed to teach children in Florida. He/him.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

Please retweet like crazy; my book is up!
Amazon: http://t.co/apKA1P4c3k
Barnes & Noble: http://t.co/GyNkE5N4bz

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@FreddyInSpace I can think of at least two potential audience members who are very excited for this...

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@MarkHamill Amazing. Every word on that image is wrong.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@ReelJeffEwing @Lulamaybelle @FreshFictionTV Because cats are angry destroyers themselves.

Look one in the eye as they knock a glass off the table and give not a single fuck.

[Kaiju News Outlet @KaijuNewsOutlet]

New concept artwork of Godzilla taking a nap in the Colosseum. #GodzillaXKong

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@KanekuoYT It's a Mari Lewd.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@seananmcguire For Star wars, I think it was third pack back on the right and 10 pack back on the middle...

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@seananmcguire Those are from when booster boxes have only a standardized to really good cards per box. Like two members of the bridge crew, or two main characters in Star wars.

And those packs were always in the same places. If someone's already bought cards, they've already got the good ones

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@AnneLouiseAvery @seananmcguire Fictions keep us human.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

The horror web comedy so good, I use it in my classroom.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

I'm taking clothes left in my classroom to the school lost and found in a big bag.

I feel like a serial killer hiding evidence.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

RIP, Keith Giffen, one of my doorways into DC.

My wife and I mention Martian meditation to this day.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@Y2John84 It's really creepy that Venkman was carrying sedatives for his date with Dana.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@RobynElyse I remember Carl Sagan using that to explain the existence of football.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

You are the main character in the last film you watched. Who are you?

[All The Right Movies @ATRightMovies]

You are the main character in the last film you watched. Who are you?

[Skledimon (COMMS OPEN) @skledimon]

something funny when shows reference mothra and godzilla is that usually the animators assume they know what godzilla is and draw that, but with mothra they have no fucking clue and they look up a ref, so you end up with a super accurate mothra and a godzilla that looks like this

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@Darren_Mooney

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@dhaakenson Huh. Neat. I used a generic race name, like elf or goblin, and assumed it needed to be lowercase.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

Damn it, spellcheck! For the last time, "sasquatch" is not capitalized when its the plural of Bigfoot! #amwriting

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

TV: "Mr. Spock, you've been in a shuttle accident."
Wife:"Now you're just a brain!"
Me: "They did that in the original series."
Wife:"WHAT."
Me: "Yup. Got stolen by alien miniskirt girls."

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@LionCountry Safari is 10 times more epic if you play the Jurassic Park soundtrack while driving around the animals.

[I Write Monsters @IWriteMonsters]

@ckilgore @DrewMcWeeny @Walldo Sounds like you're in a Pink Floyd video.