Michael Bihl

Optimist, popular culture enthusiast, wordsmith.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

@CarbonHelium I remember reading that the movie Mind Hunter goes to great lengths to give all the characters equal screen time so that the main character remains obscure until close to the end.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Terrible ice breaker: “What would you say is MY biggest insecurity?”

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

You guys think I’m an alpha male, right? Please, I really need this.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

I’m all for novelty popcorn buckets, but I wasn’t a fan of the net full of ham I got when I went to watch that Shakespeare movie.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

If they didn’t want us to commit crimes, they shouldn’t have made “illegally” such a cute word to say.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Do you think that TV show is called The Bear because legally they couldn’t call it Bear Grills?

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Planning to rob a church?

That’s called an at-heist.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

I’ve join a new fitness program that’s basically a copy of Hyrox.

It’s called Xerox.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

It’s actually called a grizzly-bear.

It’s only called a grizzly bear in the spring when it comes out of hyphenation.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Q: What does Godzilla call his grandmother?

A: Granadilla

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Q: What do you do if you hear something fishy?

A: Play something catchy.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?

An animal that forgives, but doesn’t forget.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

#Nosferatu was amazing! Made even better by the end credits sequence. Seeing Edward Cullen approach Orlok and say “I’m putting together a team” was next level!

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Thanks for reading my silly posts this year. I really hope Big Christmas Cracker buys them off me.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

I can always tell the exact moment a child becomes an adult because it's the exact moment when their sneezes begin to annoy me.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

If you watch The Grinch backwards, it’s about a blonde lady who helps her green friend become a villain who is feared and hated by the community. This is also the plot of Wicked.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

It’s a pity that Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles broke up because Wilde Styles would have been an amazing couple name.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Con Air: Cool
Air Con: Cooler

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

A stable for male horses should be called a study.

[Michael Bihl @I_MDBihl]

Stop trying to combine Halloween jokes with Christmas jokes! You’re only going to create some kind of Frankincense Monster!