Things My Daughters Say

I became a father of 4 beautiful girls in under 4 years - having twins third will do that. It is now time to document some of the fun and crazy things they say.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay #kidssay #funnygirl

4yo: Let's have a balloon fight.

Me: Ok, what are the rules?

4yo: No throwing the balloon or hitting the balloon. No pretending to be cold. No pretending to be a statue. No drinking water. Those are all cheating!

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

7yoSo: *writing her birthday wishlist* How do you spell ADULT BOY?

9yo: You mean a MAN?

7yoSo: Yeah.

Me: You want a man for your birthday?!?

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Me: What smells?

6yoSo: That’s my feet. They smell like Doritos!

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Me: *sitting on the toilet*

6yoSil: *knocks on the door*
Daddy, Sofia pinched my nipple so I pinched her nipple back, and now she’s crying for me not to tell on her, but her nipple pinch hurt more than my nipple pinch.

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Me:

6yoSo: You’re a fart bomb!

Me: What? Why?

6yoSo: Because your farts are like bombs.

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

My wife and I:

6yoSil: 🎵Who let the farts out? You, you, you, you…🎵

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

6yoSo: You can’t say no to me old man!

8yo: Hey, Daddy isn’t old.

6yoSi: And he’s not a man.

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Mom: Do you have ants in your pants?

6yoSi: Do you have poop in your noop?

Mom: huh?

6yoSi: Noops are nipples. Do you have poop in your nipples?

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Movie: He didn’t throw up. It came out the other end.

6yoSi: Eww, that means he threw up out of his butt cheeks!

Me: That’s called diarrhea.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmysaughterssay

8yo: A boy in my class said girls have cooties. What are cooties?

Me: Germs. Tell him boys are dirtier than girls so he would be the one with cooties.

8yo: I’m going to tell him that boys have cooties and girls have boobies.

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay
Things that 6yoSo has called me today:

Daddy
Old baby
Old man
Harry man
Little one
Chicken wing
Chicken butt

My reaction each time:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

7yo: *singing* Who let the dogs out. Who Who Who Who…

Me: How do you know that song?

7yo: Everyone knows that song. It’s a classic.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

5yoSo: *while circling items in her workbook* Who smells like a gorilla? Daddy! Who smells like a peach? Mommy! Who smells like a caribou? Daddy! Who smells like a banana? Mommy! Who smells like an airplane? Daddy!

Me: I’m seeing a pattern here.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

*At bedtime*

5yoSi: I’m afraid of the dark. Can you leave more light on.

Me: Sure.

*one minute later*

5yoSi: I can’t sleep without my sleep mask on. Can you pass it to me please?

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

Me: OK, so if Mommy was letting a bird poop in her mouth would you do the same?

5yoSi: Yea, of course. I would do anything for Mommy.

Me: And would you do it if I was doing it?

5yoSi: *hesitates* uh, yeah…

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

9yo: Are you going to wrap our Christmas gifts today.

Mommy: Yes

9yo: Ok. I will help you wrap it. I promise I won’t look.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

5yoSil: Hey, who ate my hotdog?

5yoSo: *tries to hide her smile*

Me: Based on your smile I'm going to guess it was you.

5yoSo: It wasn't me! I can't control my face.

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay
7yo: I made a joke. Why did the strawberry cry?

5yoSi: Because it pooped in its underwear!

7yo: No! It's because it was tired of hanging.

Me: I like your sister's punchline better.

7yo:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

*Reading a story with the twins*

Wife: "I like onions."

5yoSo: Ewww, onions taste like fart!

Me: What?

5yoSo: Onions taste like butt!

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

5yoSo: Daddy, you look like a fart!

Me: Well you smell like a fart!

5yoSo: Daddy, your birthday is on fart day!

*Everyone laughs historically*

Me:

[Things My Daughters Say @I_M_Outnumbered]

#thingsmydaughterssay

4yoSi: I said I'm hungry!

Me: OK, ok, relax.

4yoSil: Never tell a woman to relax.

Me: