Funeral Balloons

My brain is the dumbest stock footage catalogue on earth.
I write books/films for larvae.
He/him/his
Without grout we'd all fall into our kitchens, forever.

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

me: mario levels are simple and can't define my versatile eclectic personality
also me:

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@neilormaxwell all time classic

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@ScottFishman uh cuz I never got COVID and have no complaints health-wise

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@caitiedelaney why do you think you tell the chicken salad story so much
cus it means you're a great guy, a funny guy that people like

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@autogynefiles finally, we

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@itsmesleeves was fukcing

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

bad cg? I sit through. I laugh. I get the intention and how close or far it is tells me about what kind of filmmaker you are. I might like you more because I adore a big swing and a miss. But no matter what, it's interesting. It's craft. Bad AI? fuck you and all your works.

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

wife: It's not a crime movie it's horror.
me: He's killing people, that's crime.
wife: It's a scary movie!
me: Would you defend him in court? Because what Freddy Krueger is doing is certainly not legal.

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@itsmesleeves they must know some shit we don't

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

There was an 8 month period in 2014 where I attempted suicide AND got a DUI, one right after the other. After the DUI, my dad called, yelling "Are you trying to kill your mother?" and I really shoulda said "That is *clearly* not the person I am trying to kill here, man. Keep up."

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

They snatched Mario's yellow cape off him like 20 years ago n never gave it back but Toad still wearin a diap for 35yrs straight and Miyamoto's like "let im wear it hell yeh"? In 2026? Make it make sense please god 😟😤🙏🙏🙏

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

"DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE?" -me screaming at my cats while holding a very big (2xlarge) gun

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@nomorebluetmrws i'd mainline it

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

To whom it may concern, I'm upset and angry!!!

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

I've never in my life thought "Wish there were two of me!" because I know that would be a major bummer for all involved, especially my exceedingly patient wife

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

Know why commercials for AI are uniquely bad at selling to the general public? They're made under the assumption that we want to be "more productive". Why would I want to be more productive? I don't want to be productive at all, that's not my goal

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

Psycho AI CEOs can't imagine a world that isn't based on "productivity"
So the only question they ask themselves is "I'm so amazing, why can't I be every employee and have a clone to raise my kids, why can't there be more of me?" because they lack any self-awareness.

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

is it bad wine if they don't even list the year on the box? I mean it tastes bad but how can I be sure?

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

i don't like responding to socially inept people. I learned how to be chill and change myself completely to live in society, now it's your turn to change for me

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

the alternative title was "The Friedmans: Gotta Catch Em All"

[Funeral Balloons @IanJamesMilheim]

@orchid_hq this dude needs antidepressants not AI