Ian Patrick McIntyre

I do advertising and make up scary stories. 6/10 Falcon Punch. Will one day predict the future.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Advertisers: your products are not "breaking the internet" and literally nobody is "freaking out" about them. Thanks for playing.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Had to do it

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Kinda want to try an escape room just to get away for a bit.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@julie_kalita Off to a good start.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Why tf do I keep thinking running is going to feel good?

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

I haven't been fooled yet, but I'd still like to propose April 2nd as official "April Revenge Day."

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Me: Im too hungry to work out.

*Eats food*

Me: I can't work out I just ate.

*Waits an hour*

Me: I'm too hungry to work out.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@RyanMallette @dan_mallette @RyanMallette came here to say the same thing.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

You will always remember this as the day you ALMOST caught Antonio Brown.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

"Sunset" is the new "aligned."

#DigitalMarketing

[Danger Slater @Danger_Slater]

You guys do know Jaws was the name of the doctor, not the shark, right?

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@AndyAdvertise This wasn't even a joke. This was straight anecdote.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Girl: "How do you like your dinner?"

Guy: "It's delicious."

...

Girl: "Do you think the chicken is cooked all the way?"

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

My favorite drink is pringles crumbs.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Aladdin (2019)

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@DelReyBooks @JoshMalerman @gretchzky

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@AndyAdvertise There's a scientific explanation for that

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

Waiter: "Hi can I take your order?"
Me: "Rice Krispies Treats for the table."

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

The hardest part of waking up in the morning is ever falling asleep in the first place.

[Ian Patrick McIntyre @IanPM_]

@GiveMeYourTeeth @FANGORIA Had it on my list for later but I just ordered it. Hope it helps some. So looking forward to reading it.