The Guard Ian

I'm a security guard. I'm concerned about the safety shown in film and TV shows, I review them based on their security. Not to be confused with the paper.

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

THREAD: I've been looking for security flaws in some of the world's best known virtual art galleries and museums, and I am appalled. Here's why. 1/

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

People are far too obsessed with the dinosaurs in this film. It's actually a film about security fences, and how they must be regularly checked and properly maintained. The big lizards are just a distraction.

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

If you watch Jurassic park very carefully you'll realise the moral wasn't 'don't clone dinosaurs' but 'if you have an electric fence for security make sure it has a back up generator'

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

Another good moral from jurrasic park - security systems can be trusted, but the people who install security systems and sell illegal dinosaur embryos cannot be trusted

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Someone suggested I post a Tick Tock. It's from our Warhol and The West Exhibition.
Roy Rogers Alarm Clock c 1951 from The Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh; Founding Collection, Contribution The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts Inc TC526.36 #HashtagTheCowboy Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Didn’t get the Selfie Station photo quite right. I get it now. Here’s the Selfie Station in the Warhol and the West running through May 10, 2020. Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Seth in Marketing said people would love to have me take some photos of our Selfie Stations in The Cowboy. Here’s one from the Rodeo Gallery. Enjoy! Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Thanks for all the tips, Friends. Realize I have been doing the hashtags wrong. I need to use that pound sign from the phone. I’m learning! Here’s his costume from True Grit from 1969 courtesy of John Wayne Enterprises. #HashtagJohnWayne Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Sorry, thought I was Googling that. Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Twitter tips, please

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

This is the hat and eyepatch the Duke wore in the movie True Grit. They are part of our Exhibition about the 2 True Grit. Lots of interesting props and clothes. I’m told I can’t try it on. Hashtag John Wayne. Lucas, my grandson, told me to use hashtags. Thanks, Tim

[National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum @ncwhm]

Hello, my name is Tim and I am the head of security for The Cowboy. I have been asked to take on the additional duty of social media management while the museum is closed. I’m new to this but excited. My team will also continue to protect and monitor the museum. Thanks, Tim Send

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

Big shout out to head of security at @ncwhm, Tim, who is doing a great job on social media. Security guards represent, go Tim!

[Jericho Comedy @ComedyJericho]

Our security guard Ian is out of work, but he's back in action tweeting reviews from lockdown over at @IanTheGuard, not to be confused with the paper.

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

Surrounding your school with woodland infested with unnaturally large spiders, a lake with massive deep sea squid, and filling the school with ghosts who act like CCTV. Hogwarts gets ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for school security

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

The main issue I have with Hogwarts school security is that their only CCTV is a parchment map that some children made

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

Also massive security issue at hogwarts, moveable staircases would make the whole of the foundations if the castle structurally unsound

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

By all means first check the animagi charter, to see if they are registered as a dog, but security first paperwork second

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

I've been spending a lot of time looking over security systems. Don't get me wrong Azkaban is a good prison, but they really shouldn't just be releasing animals from cells without checking that they might be wizards. It's just careless really.

[The Guard Ian @IanTheGuard]

If you find there is a dog in a cell where previously the paperwork shows you there was a wizard, probably don't let the dog out as Baha men would say.