IgneousAndroid

Sailor - Strategist - Tsuchigumo. My wife and I danced at our winter wedding to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Views are my own. RT’s are not endorsements.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Love is great. Beautiful even. But violence is a part of nature, and so is death and loss. Until our creation is made new and we are one in Christ Jesus.

[Dampheil @dampheil]

@KILLTOPARTY "Why am I sexually attracted to a female of my same species when she's mostly naked at the absolute peak of her fertility window?!"

—some neutered simp

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

I was just texting my wife (16 years, 4 children) how when we were dating we were making out, and I caught a glimpse of her entire right breast. And I knew right then and there that those were the breasts I wanted to argue over access with my infant children. I think of that night weekly.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

@KILLTOPARTY God damn dude no hope NGMI why do you even?

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

This should have gotten way more algo attraction. I see this at base gyms all the time.

[Gia Macool @GiaMMacool]

That little old man who tries to talk to you in the grocery store or the gym…

Be kind.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

You don’t say

[@jason @Jason]

Business AI is here.. for your business! 😂

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

What

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Yeah, man, fuck EA.

[Sandy Petersen 🪔 @SandyofCthulhu]

It's difficult to hate Electronics Arts as much as it deserves.

I never worked directly for them, but a small developer made up of close friends (as in they gamed at my house!) did a successful game for EA. EA paid for the development with advances. When the game was a hit, EA illegally withheld the royalties, obfuscating the matter by saying they had to "repay advances first" (despite the fact that the VERY FIRST QUARTER'S ROYALTIES would surpass all the advances combined). The small developer had been living paycheck to paycheck (EA advances aren't too big), and had planned to use the expected royalties to fund itself for more great games.

Well, without the royalties, the small dev was in immediate danger of bankruptcy, and they didn't have the cash to hire lawyers. If they hired a lawyer on spec, their counsel would face off against EA's huge team of a**holes who could draw it out forever. In hindsight, perhaps they should joined with other groups angry at EA, but they went under. Their company dissolved, and my friends found other jobs, scattering around the industry.

All the upcoming cool games they had been working on were destroyed by EA's short-sighted greed. If EA had instead funded them, then EA could have had a whole stream of successful games. But no, to get a few hundred thousand they murdered a goose with a golden egg.

I guarantee you've heard of the game they made, and may have played it. It was a big enough hit to have action figures made. Not giving the name here because EA is spawned from the bowels of Hell. That's just one single example.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

This is the MO for the entire economy at this point. I don’t care if it’s even true right now, it will be.

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

There is a new scam going on in this home inspection industry

- Large corporations are buying up all the small home inspection companies
- They don’t care about making money off inspecting homes, they want the data

Why? This is where it gets borderline criminal

Home inspections are supposed to be confidential, but what they’re doing is buying all the companies to own the data

Then they are going to sell that data to insurance companies and lenders

Now with this new information the insurance company finds out, they're going to start charging you $3,000 (or whatever) extra a year to insure that house

Here’s what I’ve found

Large corporations and private equity firms are aggressively consolidating the home inspection industry primarily by buying inspection software platforms like Spectora, HomeGauge and larger inspection companies

A home inspection report contains highly detailed property specific information like roof age and condition, electrical and plumbing issues, foundation problems, HVAC status, environmental hazards

This is extremely valuable for:

- Insurance companies (risk assessment and underwriting).
- Lenders (property valuation and loan risk).
- Home warranty providers, contractors, and data brokers

Home inspections are supposed to be confidential between the buyer, inspector, and sometimes the real estate parties.

However, many inspection software companies’ terms of service allow data aggregation and sharing

That’s the loophole they found. That’s the scam

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Glorious. The only appropriate response.

[bone @boneGPT]

Years ago on reddit some lady was asking in a thread what a strange 32 byte packet was on her router. I said 32 bytes is like, a couple zeroes and ones, it was probably a ping. Well she didn't like that answer one bit. She said she was in contact with law enforcement and they were doing nothing.

She said her neighbors take shifts watching her, everything she does and she was worried for her daughter. I said listen lady, I'm sorry to break it to you but it sounds like you have schizophrenia. You're having paranoid delusions and you need help.

Forgot about it. Cut to years later. I pick up a phone call at my business. Hello is this Bone from reddit? I'm calling you to let you know I've called the FBI. They know what your doing. She begged me to leave her alone.

Once I replied to her paranoid delusion, I became part of it. She thought I was some ringleader, that I had been singlehandedly destroying her life stalking her.

At this point I was in a panic. This is my business. How the hell did you find this number? Lady, I don't want to be mean to you in an acute mental crisis but you can't be calling me. Seek help. I hang up.

Years later on Twitter. "Hello Bone? Is this the Bone whose been stalking me for years?"

Blocked.

The phone rings again. It's her. She's accusing me of all sorts of things, that I've been stealing her checks and working with the local judges to destroy her family.

I said BITCH if you don't leave me alone I will deploy my full fucking satellite army on you. I will microwave you through your fucking walls. I will get your neighbors, the ones I've been paying all these years, to follow you everywhere. I'll hack every damn wifi in your house. I can see through your walls. We can hear your thoughts. I read every piece of mail you ever got, me and my friends, the government. We've all had enough of your shit and we're about to wrap up this whole operation so if you know what's good for you, you'll never call this number again or contact me anywhere. Ever again.

I could hear the color drain from her face over the phone. Please don't, she says. I just want you to stop. She sounded terrified. I say if you stop calling this number I'll call it off. You decide your fate. I hung up.

She never called again.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Yep

[M.A. Franklin @FoundationDads]

Your kids will become like you, and so you must become more like God.

This realization is what drives the sudden maturity of new fathers.

[Bennie🕊️ @Bennieeexyz]

A customer at the library asked me a question I wasn't prepared for.

Customer: Excuse me.

Customer: Why does this machine require flesh?

Me: ...what?

Customer: This machine.

Customer: I am touching it, but it does not work.

Customer: Is because... flesh?

At this point I was trying very hard to figure out whether I had accidentally wandered into a horror movie.

Then she held up her hands.

She was wearing gloves.

Me: Oh!

Me: The touchscreen.

Me: Right.

Me: Yeah, it probably can't detect your fingers through the gloves.

Customer: Ah.

Customer: Okay.

Customer: Sorry to bother.

Me: No, no.

Me: That's the best thing I've heard all week.

She laughed.

The machine worked.

And I thought that was the end of it.

It was not.

Now whenever one of our library computers stops working, someone inevitably says:

Staff: It requires flesh.

Staff: The machine must be fed.

Another staff member: Who's volunteering?

So thanks to one perfectly innocent question, our library now sounds like a cult every time the self-checkout freezes.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

A real man or two could have choked him out at least a dozen times before those guys showed up.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

@wbridgefa @Schizointel It’s almost inconceivable that the B-2 would NOT have F-22 escorts.

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Unforgiveable

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 BREAKING: Bodycam footage of the arrest of Henry Nowak, who had been stabbed moments prior by Vickrum Digwa

[IgneousAndroid @IgneousAndroid]

Dude… I would say “this gives me hope” as a former diehard Transformers collector, but I already have a wife and 3 kids. Still awesome to watch.