Brendan Willmott

I don't know what the fuck is going on bro

[Aaron Dryburgh @AaronAjd900]

The muffin man can suck my nuts

[Tristan @the_carter86]

This still has to be the most wild video I’ve ever been sent 💀

[Brody Jackson @Brody_Jackson]

“Men tend to gain weight when in a relationship because of the comfort level with their partner”.

Nope.

We gain weight because she doesn’t eat all of her cheeseburger and you’ll be damned if I’m letting that thing go to waste.

[World Record Egg @egg_rt_record]

Let's set a world record together and get the most retweeted tweet on Twitter. Beating the current world record held by Yusaku Maezawa @yousuck2020 (5.3 million!)

We got this 🙌

[Catie @ckauffman20]

Multiple choice in high school:
a) not the answer
b) DEFINITELY THE ANSWER
c) not the answer

In college:
a) could be the answer
b) oh this one could be too
c) doubtful, but what if I’m wrong and it is the answer?
d) vague option that could also be right

[Leonie @leoniestroh]

I asked this guy from work to take my shift the day of, and he told me “sorry but that’s not enough time for me to mentally prepare myself to work” and you know what, I was cool wit dat, cuz same.

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

@Jack_Elliott123 or how drunk they are

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

@Owen_Roberts4 @tess_skarban Good job :)

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

@AlyssaLicoppe exactly

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

@theaagoodman Preach it sista

[b_katherine @BrooklynSenga]

Treat her like you're still trying to win her

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

People rarely remember the good you do in this world. But they will never forget the wrong you did.

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

@Owen_Roberts4 That's what I do it for 😄

[Brendan Willmott @ImBWillmott]

I wish my wallet was a like a drink, it'd come with free refills 🍹