scary

he do be scary doe

[ilymjsyk @g4na_xo]

At the end of the day you lowkey just need a pretty chalant girl with a great sense of humor who threatens to beat you up once or twice

[Nathan Idot @nathanidot]

this ain’t ben & jerry’s this is net & yahu’s

[sana @28O42025]

edating is like believing the stripper is genuinely into you

[ᴅᴀʜʟɪᴀ @dxhliaflvrz]

at the most fuckable age of my life and the only thing i’m fucking is depressed

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[✮ @milf1uvr69]

i like your funny words mexican

[Mr Melancholy @chakravartiiin]

How is it that trump keeps getting these looney toons assassins but charlie kirk got literally bullseye from daredevil his first time.

[Michael Grier @OleGriersy]

“Toothless misogynist” might go harder than “Olympic gold medalist”

[Jalen @jayjjalen]

i’m surprised it only took 2 days for this kirkification

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

plan A is to lock in, plan B is to blow my shit smoove off

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

choppelganger | noun | a less attractive version of someone or something

[gatos fazendo gatices @gatinarios]

tudo é questão de ângulo

[#CUT4NEWJEANS @seafoodboil2004]

waiting for this nigga to stop fake tickling my coworker so she can go back to training me https://t.co/ueqC3QNgXT

[Justin Briner @justinbriner]

ok I’m sorry, I’d never have been driven to these extremes if the northernlion super cruise weren’t cancelled

[karina @solarkarii]

OH MY GOD I JUST FOUND PEAK ON TIKTOK