As I was walking this morning I thought I could hear something rustling around in my pocket… until I realized the noise was coming from my knees.
The noise… was my knees.
MY FUCKING KNEES
Me: Honey I really feel disturbed with how much I like your big butt
Wife: Why does that make you feel like you’re disturbed?
Me: I’m down with the thickness
OWWWW WA A A AH
The hottest part of hell is reserved for people who at 12.01 respond to “good morning” by looking at their watch and saying “actually it’s good afternoon”
The question of the evening:
Is the man behind me wearing a trench coat?
Or is he three small children stacked on top of each other, under a trench coat?