Brittany Rickard

📻 funky fresh and dumb as fuck 📻

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

@cheelytos LMAO RIGHT

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

My brother has flown a girl to our town just to make her sit in his room and watch him play guitar all day. I can only imagine the reason she just went to the bathroom is to cry.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

You’ll really watch a girl rail coke at a party one day and then find out she’s Mormon the next

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

My sister and mother are currently in a heated debate over whether they would eat cow shit or a dead rat body after my sister buried her dead rat in her garden under a fruit tree. So how is everyone else’s family group chat going?

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

And now he’s Mayor yall 💅💅💅

@otos_austin

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Wake up babe - the new @otos_austin political campaign just dropped

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Me trying not to crash out on the very not busy airport bartender who’s served me one drink in 90 minutes because I will not be my mother.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

If I was the guy who invented motion censor doors I would’ve kept it to myself and told everyone else I was telekinetic

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

I had a dream @jamescharles took a shit in my bathtub 😭

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Sorry I’m late to the meeting I had to get a tweet out of my brain or I would’ve exploded.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

I don’t need to know if it’s AI let me have this

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

I’m a simple girl, I split an avocado, I put the other half in a baggy in the fridge. When I need another half an avocado? I cut another and make the first fridge avocado a friend because I am forgetful. This is an infinite cycle I surely will continue throughout my days.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Mentioned Scrooge to my boyfriend today. He said ‘Mcduck?’

Yeah I guess buddy.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

@nerdwrestle Staged a house fire for the insurance money

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Had a dream I committed insurance fraud. This is adulthood I guess.

[The Night Warrior @WarriorNight007]

@kirawontmiss Me after finding out they arrested Luigi Mangione

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Sending memes and reels to each of my friends directly catered to their interests and sense of humor like I am a walking algorithm.

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

My type is guys who are ugly in a hot way

[Brittany Rickard @ImSallySparrow]

Just got new headphones with extra bass boost haha the Hamilton soundtrack won’t know what hit it.