Quagmire

Who else but Quagmire?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I have a question for you too, why are you still here?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

😂😂

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Alright...

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I'm in bed by 8:00 every night but home 11:00. OH!

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

How is Peter gonna be mad that I tried to sleep with his daughter but didn't do anything about it when Bill Clinton slept with his wife? Smh

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I want a Family Guy movie to be made.

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Who else but Quagmire?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

This is how i make all my girls feel better when they're upset

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Amazing Grace, come on my face. Don't make me cry, I want your pie.

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Lose the zero, get with a hero https://t.co/Ejgmhtkke7

[kaylani maka corneau @KCorneau]

@imtheqman That's only cause she already has a husband . LOL

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

She didn't buy it 😩

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

OH!

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Woman: Well, someone has to have sex with me.

Me: Who else but Quagmire?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

If colleges had "sex" as a major, I would've been the most successful student of all time

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I was very disappointed when this happened

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I hate when a woman that I'm trying to screw isn't open minded, I thought sharing was caring?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

It's late and I'm home alone, I need someone to come over and fool around for a while

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

I hate when a bitch says to "suck it yourself". If I could do that, why tf would I need you?

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

*Sees cute girl*

Brain: Be respectful
Heart: Be a gentlemen
Penis: NUT ON THAT BITCH FOREHEAD
Brain & Heart: Penis is right again

[Quagmire @ImTheQMan]

Having sex and drinking https://t.co/6iE9wLGqDY