Some dude

I hate all of you

[b @saggyboobs]

she blocked me but blocks are used to build houses. i think she wants a future with me

[️sof @sodazerosugar]

i don't pee. i piss. hard.

[sev @t0rmentedd]

Things to say at a job interview:
- can I vape in here?
- I need the original blueprints of this building.
- my eyes are up here.
- How strict is your harassment policy?
- Sell me this pen.
- I didn’t know she had a brother.

[َ @4NGELWING]

i’m pregnant with laughter and you’re the father bro

[jamie ❄️ @catofice]

"6 likes isn't a lot" imagine having to find 6 people to fight alongside you in a Trial of Seven

[Osimannis 🇳🇬 @osi_mrf]

“WE MARCH TO VİCTORY OR WE MARCH TO DEFEAT, BUT WE GO FORWARD ONLY FORWARD”

[MobstersDaily @MobstersDaily]

are you this stupid

[Jozie @joziebaby]

You know what would really slap? Some anesthesia. Like, recreationally. Someone should look into that.

Can you put me under for a couple days? Just a few. Nothing too outrageous.

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

“We’ll just get some stupid prick college kid to move the blow for us. Call him Pablo Pledgescobar or some shit idk get creative”

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

I was perfectly round as a child. The neighborhood kids would roll me down the hill and laugh as I came to a stop in the backyard of the prospective neighborhood diddler. I was never diddled by him. I was too spherical and slippery from the morning dew. I always got away

[Rodger @TheRodged]

.@NYCMayor I'm not getting any pussy

[Pierre L’Fauex @LFauexProd]

“So the blood will be there.”

[Some dude @InZense_]

@huchabela54664 @VytautasTheGrrr @jaymefranklin16 is that...a good thing?

[Some dude @InZense_]

@fiendformojitos @esthyn4 because you're a fucking retard

[trash jones @jzux]

me when my friends mess up: you’re only human, please be kind to yourself. it’s ok to learn

me when i mess up: they should shoot me like a dog in the street

[kai @kaileenyy]

It’s torture yourself Tuesday don’t forget to blame yourself for where it all went wrong today

[phlip @MrPerfectPhilip]

Apparently, you’re not supposed to comment “nightmare blunt rotation” on your ex’s Instagram with a picture of her husband and new baby

[Chuckfug @Chuckfug]

My girl is starting to realize I'm noticably worse at sex after my pet rat died and I stopped wearing a hat all the time

[Louise Jensen Duffy (also Ernest Jensen) @LouiseWeebe]

You’re listening to Sisyphus FM, the home of non-stop rock.