Kaveh, walking in their bedroom with a tray of breakfast: Good morning, sunshine.
Haitham, sleepily: Kaveh? Itโs eight a.m. Itโs like the middle of the night.
#haikaveh
Tighnari๐ - librarian
Alhaitham๐ฑ - vampire
Kaveh๐๏ธ - victim
๐ walks in when ๐ฑ is feeding.
๐: [GASP] ARCHONS!
๐ฑ: [looks up from his victim]
๐: Could you not... [points at a "no food in the library" sign]
๐ฑ: Oh, sorry
๐: Pls heed the sign
๐ฑ: Ok excuse me [drags ๐๏ธ out]
Kaveh: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Cyno: Iโve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Tighnari: I got distracted about halfway through.
Haitham: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
#haikaveh
Cyno: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Cyno and Nari, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Kaveh: Our turn, Haitham! One, two, three- vanilla!
Haitham, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
#haikaveh
Traveler: What do you think Kaveh will do for a distraction?
Haitham: He'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. Thatโs what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Haitham: ... or he could do that.
#haikaveh
Cyno: What time is it?
Kaveh: I donโt know; pass me that saxophone and weโll find out.
Kaveh: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Haitham: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING?
Kaveh, smugly: Itโs 2 am.
#haikaveh
Eremites, negotiating with Haitham: We have Kaveh. Give us ten thousand mora and he will be returned to you unharmed.
Kaveh: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think Iโm only worth ten thousand mora?
Haitham:
Kaveh: MAKE IT ONE MILLIONโ
Haitham: KAVEH STOP
#haikaveh
Haitham: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Kaveh: Okay, but in my defense, Cyno bet me 50 mora I couldnโt drink all that shampoo.
Haitham: Thatโs not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
#haikaveh
Kaveh: So thatโs my project.
Haitham: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I donโt want to sound mean.
Kaveh: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Haitham: It fucking sucks.
Kaveh: Thatโs not constructive criticism.
#haikaveh
Kaveh: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Haitham: No itโs my fault, I shouldnโtโve used my one phone call to prank call the General Mahamatra.
#haikaveh
Haitham: Kaveh and I are childhood friends.
Tighnari: I'm curious. What was Kaveh like when he was little?
Haitham: I think you mean young. He's always been little.
#haikaveh