incorrect criminal minds quotes

just for fun 🤩

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Emily, on the phone: Hey Hotch, can I borrow $5000?

Hotch: Why do you need $5000?

Emily: For an escape room.

Hotch: What kind of escape room costs $5000?

Emily:

Emily: Jail.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Emily: You have such nice skin.

Reid: Oh, thanks! I moisturize with my tears.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: I have a confession... I think I’m in love with Reid.

Hotch:

Garcia:

Rossi:

JJ:

Emily: Congratulations, you’re the last one to know.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Garcia: What language do they speak at the center of the earth?

Garcia: Core-ean.

Reid: The center of the earth is around 5430 degrees celsius. Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language.

Garcia: Core-ean.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: Controversial, but I’d rather work a 7-3 than a 9-5.

Emily: Controversial, but I’d rather never work again.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

[Reid at the doctor]

Doctor: Do you work out?

Reid: Oh yes, I do many pull-offs and plonks...

Doctor:

Reid: I do crunchies as well.

Doctor: I’m going to put no.

Reid: Okay

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Emily: I think the door might be broken.

Reid: Is it ajar?

Emily: No, it’s a door.

[spencer reid quotes @handaewi]

Loner, invisible, outcast, boiling rage (phone rings again) SON OF A BITCH! (answers) Hi, this is Doctor Spencer Reid. I actually can come to the phone right now with a very special message that your mother is a —

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

JJ: I had to punish Henry yesterday, so I told him no tv.

JJ: Ten minutes later I hear him playing the harmonica in his room like a prisoner in 1938.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Garcia: You should always walk away. Be the bigger person.

Emily: That’s bullshit, stab them.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Emily: My ex texted me last night and said he couldn’t sleep. I told him to look up Isaiah 48:22.

The rest of the team turning to Reid:

Reid: There is no rest for the wicked.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Hotch: The real treasure was the memories we made during this trip.

Strauss: I almost got killed.

Hotch: That was my fondest memory.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Reid after Emily teaches him Twitter slang: So here’s the tea

Derek: For the last time, it’s the autopsy report.

Reid: Do you want the tea or not?

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek, visiting Reid in the hospital: How are you doing?

Reid: I keep trying to die. They won’t let me.

Derek: Well you can’t have everything.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: My name is Derek Morgan.

Derek, motioning to Reid: This is my partner, white privilege.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: Reid does have a point.

Reid: Don’t agree with me, it makes me uncomfortable.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: Arson?

Derek: Oh, you mean “crime brulee”?

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Derek: I would like to offer some friendly advice.

Strauss: I don’t need your help.

Derek: Consider it unfriendly then, fuckface.

[incorrect criminal minds quotes @IncorrectMinds]

Reid: You know, kidnapped or not, sometimes it’s just nice being held.