IncorrectStargateQuotes

Incorrect Stargate Quotes. Ideas or wishes are welcome

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Daniel : Why are you naked?

Sam: I don't have any clothes...

Daniel opening Sam's closet: Yes you do! Like these dresses, these shirts, this coat, hi Jack, oh and these socks

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Sam: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Jack: I don’t know how to do that Carter.

Teal'c: I do not wear a watch.

Daniel: Time is a construct.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: We need to get through this locked door. Daniel , give me your credit card.

Daniel: Here.

Jack, pocketing it: Thanks. Carter, kick down the door.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Daniel not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Jack:

Jack: fsh

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Sam: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Jack, amazed: Wow...

Daniel, to Jack: Well what does that mean?

Jack: I don't know

Jack : What does that mean Carter?

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: You love me, right, Sam?

Sam: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Hammond: Did none of you step back and think that maybe this was a bad idea?!

Jack: Oh, no, we did. We just decided to do it anyway.

Hammond:...

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Daniel: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Jack: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Janet : God, give me patience.

Daniel : I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Janet : If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: I'm incredibly fast at math.

Sam: Alright sir, what's 30x17?

Jack : 47

Sam: That's not even close.

Jack: But it was fast.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Sam, tending to Jack's wounds: How would you rate your pain sir?

Jack : Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

*Daniel enters conference room*

Daniel: Jack what are you doing?

Jack: Just thinking

Daniel: Should I be worried about that?

Credit: @doodleking453

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: I prevented a murder today.

Sam: Really sir? How’d you do that?

Jack: Self control.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: Am I going too far?

Daniel: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

McKay: *Out of breath* O'NEILL PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." Why are elephants more advanced than us.

Sam: We do have a specific noise for it sir. It sounds like this:

Sam: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?

Janet: Are you calling me short?

Jack: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Jack: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Sam: Oh, you’ve been to jail sir?

Jack: Once. In Monopoly.

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Daniel : This is a very powerful artifact. You’d be messing with some forces we don’t fully understand.

Jack: That sounds like a dare to me.

Daniel : Do not touch it Jack!

Jack: *touches it*

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Computer: Please enter a password.

Jack: *types in SamanthaCarter*

Computer: Your password is too weak.

Jack: How fucking DARE YOU-

[IncorrectStargateQuotes @Incorrectstarg1]

Sam: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Jack : What did you do?

Sam: Nobody died sir.

Jack: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!