IncorrectTheValiant

Come for the Valiant series and Ancient Rome, stay for the incorrectness.

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

The Valiant quartet:

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

*loud grumbling sound*
Sorcha: was that thunder?
Elka: I think it’s Mount Vesuvius heaving
Cai: Neptune is angry today
Fallon: no it’s just my stomach

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon:
Barbie ❌ Barbarian ✅

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Virico: I am now the head chief but how will i distinguish myself from all the other chiefs?
Fallon: fancy hat

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Aeddan: I hate you
Fallon: I hate you too
Aeddan: drop dead
Fallon: you first

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Virico: I threaten to quit as chief in favour of Fallon
Chieftain: but she’s a woman
Virico: yes. The first woman chief. What a groundbreaking accomplishment. We’re really breaking the glass ceiling here.

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Virico: in your absence I have gone fully grey and acquired age lines
Fallon:

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Elka: what are you doing?
Fallon: checking to make sure my towel warmer is working
Elka: it’s just your cat Sekhmet curled up on top of the towels
Fallon: exactly.

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Caesar: child are you ill? You look so pale and wan with your hair unbrushed and as if you have a poor diet
Fallon: well it’s a diagnosed medical condition
Fallon; I’m from England.

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: *driving boat and cackling maniacally across Lake Sabatinus*
Sorcha: that girl is Jackass incarnate

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

*after Fallon goes missing*
Olun: are you a green flag or red flag?
Virico: I’m a white flag and I give up

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Sorcha: magic mirror who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror: your sister Fallon
Sorcha: she’s twelve
Mirror: and?
Sorcha: *throws mirror off the cliffs of Dover*

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: I might be getting older but I’ll never forget to throw these hands

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: sorry I can’t come today because I’m in the middle of a live stream
*pan out to show Fallon standing in the middle of a flowing stream*

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon; I have decided to speed in my chariot through the village of Nottingham
Cop: ma’am you realise how fast you were going?
Fallon: yes I was speeding
Cop: why?
Fallon: because I wanted to meet the sheriff of Nottingham

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: *walks into sandwich ship* I would like to order the Caesar salad
Cashier: whole Caesar or half Caesar?
Fallon: whole. I only require knives for utensils.

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: I’m playing this new first person shooter game where the goal is to take down invading Roman armies. The answer is ‘use gun’

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: hey want to know how the Roman Empire will last for thousands of years?
Caesar: yeah
Fallon: click here: https://t.co/YnFLOfdsAy

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Nyx: boss I had discovered a common theme amongst all the Ludus Achillea gladiators including Achillea
Aquila: oh what is it?
Nyx: they are all lactose intolerant. I have given them dairy in their meals
*at dinner later that in the Ludus Achillea*
The gladiators:

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Elka: you’re dating a Roman?
Fallon: yes *pulls out uno reverse card* and now you are too

[IncorrectTheValiant @IncrrctValiant]

Fallon: I am lactose intolerant
Sorcha: then why do you have a bunch of dairy products in front of you?
Elka, *looking at Fallon and Fallon’s stomach*: