Insidious Yoink

I'm just a guy who thinks he is funnier than he actually is.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@Azniac They really do grow up so fast..,happy birthday!

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@BrennaBugg I’m just now seeing a bunch of mentions, I’ve never seen before.

More like he had a captive audience, in the most literal sense.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@AndyTheBlanch I’ll remind you for half that.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@We_Like_Dogs He’s definitely a “Groucho” if I ever saw one.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@BrennaBugg Very similar to the time I was strapped to a gurney in the back of an ambulance and the EMT asked me if I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. …hard no? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

Work parking lot, sitting in my car, windows rolled down. Feeling secluded, I rip the loudest fart. Didn’t realize the dude next to me had his windows rolled down too…until I saw his head snap in my direction. Pretty sure he’s got whiplash. Not even going to make eye contact.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@AndyTheBlanch We didn’t. …and we won’t. Nipping that stupid shit right in the bud.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@AndyTheBlanch “They all used to laugh at me, but not anymoooooore”

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@MattOswaltVA Same, but the character has their phone on vibrate or silent and puts it on a counter or table and can’t hear it as it’s “ringing” away.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@reedscouncil Ultimate Alliance was really fun. The sequel, not so much.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@BuckyIsotope Maybe the manager didn’t care for your fowl language.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@RiotWorkshop Not a celebrity photo, but a few family photos. I guess I’m out of the will? Feels bad man, I really had my eye on that antique telephone cookie jar with the missing lid.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@BuckyIsotope What’s up dog?

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

I am not even remotely impressed when I go to a restaurant and the waiter takes my order without writing it down.

I am even less impressed when he gets my order wrong because he didn’t write it down.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@jimcramer I can tell you for a fact that Walmart lost at least one sale to that lock and key bullshit. Waited around 20 mins for headphones before walking out to the parking lot and ordering them from Amazon.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@BuckyIsotope @thegoodgodabove What’s Updog?

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@GeorgeTakei There are so many roles he played, but What Dreams May Come really stands out for me.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@dennysgrandsam_ That’s a platform I can get behind.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@VicMon215 @notaleftwing @jimcramer @Walmart @Target @amazon I went into @Walmart tonight to get some wireless ear buds. After waiting 20+ for an employee to help me, I walked out and ordered the same item from Amazon.

[Insidious Yoink @InsidiousYoink]

@POTUS Let’s not be fucking ridiculous. It wasn’t that long ago when the news was “Look out, gas is going to hit over $3 this summer” and America cringed in unison. Wow, I’m paying over $4, instead of $5, when it should be under $3. Make way, while I do a fucking cartwheel!