WHY A MAN MUST LOOK AT HIS FIANCÉE'S MOTHER BEFORE HE CHOOSES A WIFE:
Young man,
Before you marry a woman, don't just study her beauty.
Study her mother.
There is a reason our fathers paid attention to the women in a family long before they approved a marriage.
Experience taught them what romance could not.
Many people think marriage is the union of two individuals.
It is not.
Marriage is the meeting point of values, habits, beliefs, temperaments, and family cultures.
You are not only marrying a woman.
You are marrying the environment that shaped her.
Now, I am not saying every daughter becomes her mother.
No.
But every daughter carries traces of the woman who raised her.
Some traces are visible immediately.
Others emerge years into marriage.
Observe how her mother speaks to her husband.
Observe how she handles disagreements.
Observe how she responds to stress.
Observe her attitude toward respect, responsibility, and accountability.
Because when life becomes difficult, people often return to what they learned at home.
A beautiful face can hide an unhealthy family culture.
Many men investigate a woman's past but never investigate the home that produced her.
That is like inspecting a fruit while ignoring the tree.
The tree matters.
When you visit her family, don't focus on how they treat guests.
Anybody can perform for visitors.
Pay attention to what happens when everyone becomes comfortable.
That is where truth lives.
Watch the women she admires.
Watch the women she imitates.
Watch the women she constantly defends.
People naturally move toward the examples they celebrate.
Look at her mother's relationship with accountability.
Some people are never wrong.
Nothing is ever their fault.
Everyone else becomes the problem.
A child raised in such an environment may unconsciously adopt the same habits.
Observe her mother's attitude toward money.
Some families see money as a tool to build.
Others see it as a weapon to control.
Marriage eventually reveals which culture a person comes from.
Another thing.
Watch how her mother treats people beneath her social status.
The waiter.
The cleaner.
The security guard.
The struggling relative.
Character is often hidden from equals but exposed toward subordinates.
A wise man doesn't only ask:
"Do I love her?"
He also asks:
"What kind of environment produced her thinking?"
Because love can make a man blind.
Marriage has a way of restoring sight.
The purpose of studying her mother is not to judge or condemn.
It is to understand.
You are looking for patterns.
You are looking for strengths, weaknesses, values, and family culture.
Because every family passes something down.
Some pass down wisdom.
Some pass down discipline.
Some pass down loyalty.
Some pass down emotional stability.
Some pass down chaos.
The inheritance is not always financial.
And before anyone gets offended, the same principle applies in reverse.
A woman should also study the father of the man she intends to get married to.
Many sons eventually reveal the lessons they absorbed from the men they watched growing up.
Marriage is not won by finding a perfect spouse.
There are none.
Marriage is won by understanding the patterns attached to the person you choose.
A blind man marries an individual.
A wise man studies the lineage.
So before you choose a wife, don't only ask about beauty, education, or compatibility.
Ask yourself:
"What kind of woman raised this woman?"
That single question has saved many people from years of regret.
The elders understood something this generation often forgets:
Courtship reveals the person. Family reveals the future.
End.
I don’t know who else does this, but I don’t ask people for my money back after lending them. But once you fail to pay back, even if you’re about to lose your life and you need my help urgently to save you, I won’t come through for you a second time.
There is no way on God's green earth i have N20m and dating a girl that cannot afford N400k to get herself another phone.
Infact that is why I do not want a woman to suffer with me, build with me or reason with me coz as I am growing financially, my taste in women is changing.
Why will an adult not be able to afford a phone for herself in 2026?. Even if she no fit afford am, wetin do her papa, uncles and elder siblings?.
My iPhone got stolen. The thief plugged it in to charge.
That second, the front camera took a photo and emailed it to me with the exact location.
Not an app. A built-in feature. Here's the setup:
How old were you when you found out you don’t need to visit a photo studio or pay anyone before you can create clean high quality Passport Photographs ?
Let’s show you how to get the best passport photographs for free and in high Quality too. 👇🏻
Toaster: hi babe
Gold digger: my rent is expired, I need urgent 2M
Toaster 1: lol we just met, I can’t help.
Gold digger: don’t think I was begging you, it was intentional, I needed to scare you away
Toaster 2: send me your account details
Gold digger: thanks baby😍😍
A thief.
Your mates dey burst prop firm accounts you dey find square root of X for 4yrs.
Na you request for extra sheet pass for exam hall but in real life you no sabi bag up.
Na only you get PhD & Bsc but AMG hard you get.
If you earn 250k monthly salary in Nigeria it will take you 15yrs to buy a Mercedes Benz GLE, That's if you're not spending out of the 250k monthly salary o.
500k will take you 7yrs. I rather be jack of all trades than be master of one that doesn't yield anything big in the name of mastering one.
As you Dey study to find the square root of X, still Dey student the square root of money too, because las las i never see who use square root of X buy house for this lekki, na hustle Dey buy house here for this side.
Some of you young men are currently dating girls that you know that if you tell them that you're broke, the girl will either stop seeing you, or even withhold sex from you and starts to disrespect you, constantly.
Then you feel "challenged" to go make money because you want to impress her.
Then you marry her and become broke again.
And she starts to replay the same movies that she played to you when you were still dating her.
And you say that you're not married to a coded prostitute?
End.
A young man sent me a message after ending a 2-year relationship.
He's 25 and she's 22, and has been following me for 4 years.
On paper, the lady was everything a man could ask for. Calm. Respectful. Humble. Loving. She treated him like a king.
Checked almost every box.
Then he discovered she had been secretly communicating with her ex throughout the entire relationship. A man she initially introduced as just a friend.
There were hidden conversations, secret trips, and things he only learned after the fact.
His real question wasn't even about the breakup. It was about something I've said before.
If you investigate deep enough, are you simply uncovering the truth about who you're dating?
Or are you playing God by forcing access to information that would otherwise remain hidden?
Should a man actively investigate the woman he wants to marry, or only start looking when she gives him a reason to be suspicious?
Because according to him, this is now the third time he has dated a woman who appeared loving, loyal and committed until the truth came out.
His fear is gradually turning into a belief:
"Do all women cheat and simply hide it well?"
"Is trust in relationships becoming foolish?"
"How do you maintain hope in love when betrayal seems to keep repeating itself?"
Gentlemen, ladies let's talk.
At what point does trust become naivety?
And at what point does investigation become insecurity?
After reading his DM, I simply asked him this question:
What do I always say about a blind boyfriend or husband?
He responded by saying that a "blind boyfriend or husband is a good boyfriend or husband".
Then he went ahead to ask me "if the best way was to ignore what he uncovered and continue to enjoy the good treatment?"
I told him that since she had given him reasons to be suspicious and then he decided to investigate her and uncovered the secrets, he can no longer be a blind boyfriend.
And then I reminded him that a woman will continue to treat you like a king, until you discover her secrets that she would rather kill for, than for you to know.
He appreciated my brief counsel and insists that he is moving on from the relationship.
AJD.
A lot of you men don’t see yourself as the prize. You don’t know it is a privilege for a girl to have access to you? It’s a privilege for a girl to know where you live? It’s a privilege for a girl to get laid by you? Many of you have a car and your own space, you roll with babes who still live with their parents and can’t afford rents not to talk of a car, some of you even chill with girls who can’t afford their own transport, you don’t know it’s a privilege for her to even roll with the big boys?
Many of these babes can’t afford to visit some of the restaurants you take them to, and even when they go to those restaurants alone, they know what they order for, it’s only when they are with you that they want to try new expensive things out. You don’t know it’s a privilege to know you?
You don’t rate yourself at all.