Irish Wisdom

Shit my Sean says.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

@onemanatatime You rock man!

Pay it forward!

LQRVFfyN8HsBVwU8jekfNgu88CuvobVEy5

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

You can't call shotgun on a felony.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Knock Knock
Who's there?

Dad has cancer.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

There are two correct choices in the bathroom either accuracy or creativity.If you can't hit the toilet be creative piss in their bathtub.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

My tweets are like airplanes. Their fuel is characters and cargo is punctuation, when the fuel is low the cargo gets thrown overboard.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

That is just it, that's not the problem itself but the thing that causes the problem. Like soap in a jailhouse. It facilitates the problem.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Everyone is a comedian until they get slapped in the balls. Nothing takes the "ha ha" out of life like a good ol' slap to the balls.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

I am not saying domestic abuse is okay, I am saying if he hits you for this shit and the cops come I didn't see a damned thing.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

I like the idea of FantasyFootball much more than the practice.I don't see why Ray Rice can't ride a majestic unicorn and grant wishes.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

I shouldn't be so tough on 50 shades/Twilight fans. Its just that 50 shades of grey is to books what Hitler was to.... books.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

business idea.I am going to collect all the fanfiction on the internet and put it in a single book.I will call it 51 shades of bad writing.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Yeah, she said that I systematicaly drained her of joy in life and the only thing I could think about was where to put that on my resume.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Girls who are unusually quiet are like punk rock songs that start out slow.Everyone knows where its going, but the only thing to do is wait.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

A man once yelled "Show me what you're made of!"

... So I ejaculated in his eyes.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

I paid for the whole hour and besides its not like you are going anywhere, I drove the car. #shutupandkissme

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

I will never compose more tweets than when I have important shit to put off.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

#IfITWasUpToMe.There would be more ironic uses of confetti I feel that it's highly underutilized.For instance funerals,confetti at funerals

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Don't Fight Racism With Racism. I once threw a fish sandwich at a racist. In that instance I fought racism with a sandwich.

[Irish Wisdom @Irishwisdom]

Everyone has a bad example. The Canadians have odd ball shut ins. America has most of the south, and Japan has the Japanese.