What is a matte black cyber truck doing parked at my gym in broad daylight like dawg go fight the scarecrow or something I don’t think you’re supposed to be here 😭 💯 🦇
Self care is eating a handful of dark chocolate almonds followed by staring in the mirror and repeating “I am the almond man” 3x before receiving a celestial vision of a parting of clouds in the upper left corner of your field of vision where the light is so intense you try to lo
**Olympic boxer gets punched in the face, quits boxing on international tv**
Conservatives: this is what democrats want. Boxers getting punched. What the hell is this world we live in
Folks, we need to get over ourselves if we want to win this election. Joe Biden is our candidate in 2024 and he’ll damn sure be our candidate again in 2028!
#demsforbiden#itsnotjoevertillitsjoever
Last time I went to the dr they didn’t even measure me. just asked me how tall I am. It’s been a week since that appointment but I really wish I told them 5’4”. Or some equally ridiculous sounding height. 5’3” even. Or 5’9” 😂. Now that moment’s gone and it’s never coming back, n