Jokes ni Itay

Anak may joke ako.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Sad news, my obese parrot died today.

Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Someone stole all my lamps. You'd think I'd be upset...

...but I'm actually delighted.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I wouldn't say my house had the best ceiling in the world...

But it's definitely up there.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What did the carpenter say when he finished building his house?

Nailed it.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Albert Einstein was a genius.

But his brother Frank was a monster.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?

A faux pa.

[Jokes ni Itay @ItayJokes]

It is out of your control

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called?

Fast10.

Your seat belts.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

How do you deal with a sad astronaut?

Just give them some space.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

A buddy of mine named his dog ‘5 miles’ so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.

But today he ran over 5 miles.

[Dad Jokes! 👨 @dadgivesjokes]

I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!

All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist!

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

My wife says I only have 2 faults.

I don't listen and something else.

[Jokes ni Itay @ItayJokes]

Minsan rin talaga ay hindi nakakatawa ang mga joke ko. Pero ang pinaka hindi nakakatawang joke ay ang ating gobyerno

[Jokes ni Itay @ItayJokes]

Aba anak, magaling

[kabulastugan @kblstgn]

sahod day vibez

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Shakespeare wrote all his plays with a pencil.

But was it 2B or not 2B?

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.

It's the bear minimum.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What's the most helpful medical problem?

A cyst.