Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire

She/Her. A lifetime of masking, completely unaware that everyone else wasn't doing the same. AuDHD. Lesbean. Soul searching and figuring it out.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Ugh. I just remembered that I literally wrote a sad girl poem called "The Mask" in 7th grade, which began "I wear a mask so I can hide the emotions that I feel inside. Always a fake smile, never real, so others don't know how I feel."

I would like to go back in time please.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Logically its just another day. I know that.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Birthday anxiety. Normally I don't tell anyone so no one can forget. I actually tried to let people know this year and im scared that it wont matter.

Society tells me it matters for people to remember, but it hurts so much when no one says anything.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

At this point maybe the strategy is to just wear a lesbian flag at all times and telling people that if they want to flirt with me they use a codeword so I know I'm not being unwantedly creepy.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

I just wanna be a cute egirl talking to other egirls but I'm not as good of an egirl so I feel like I don't fit in.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

I wish i could explain how much time I spend being attracted to lady streamers but then SMASH that part down because I refuse to be a creepy viewer.

So I stream too in an attempt to be "another streamer" but GOD being perceived is rough.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

see i would have friends, but I've moved a lot and no one ever seems to want to keep in touch, which is fair, but leaves me kinda alone

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Following as many new lady streamers as I can to try to make friends without being creepy or weird or parasocial

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

surely one of them will.... somehow go correctly without me making any sudden moves

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Before I realized I'm Ausome (#ActuallyAutistic) I knew it always made me feel warm and fuzzy when someone was telling me about their passions. ESPECIALLY if it was super niche.

Special Interests. I love hearing about peoples Special Interests.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Interviews are so hard because I'm trying to think of "what to say" and "what not to say" at the same time and I'll end up saying the "what not to say" on accident.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Stuck in an awful spiral of body dysmorphia, bad self esteem, extreme loneliness, and self loathing.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

I'm really proud of myself for severing communication with my ex. I always looked back on past breakups and didn't like how desperate and sad I would end up, and I promised myself that I wouldn't do that with anyone else.

And i have a lot of pride that i stuck with it.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

The things that people love the most about New Orleans comes from the culture of the slaves that were there, and I don't feel like they get appreciated enough.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

I would like a word for "identifies as woman, but is not accepted as a woman sometimes, despite being cis" like... what to tomboys grow up into, because it just feels like "ostracized because I'm not lady like enough"

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Also, trying to job hunt while burnt out is basically impossible

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

3 things to hyperfocus on at once is too many. Splatfest, Slime Rancher 2, and Shovel Knight Dig. AAAAaaaaa

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

Ok Josh is at the airport. And I'm now people alone for like 2 days. I do have 3 dogs with me in the house, which helps.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

My non-adhd boyfriend is helping me job search and basically being my job search manager and I really don't think I could live alone.

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

*is now reading everything I can find about low estrogen*

[Taylor, Human Impersonator Extraordinaire @ItchyHumanSuit]

lmao what is this ocd treatment and anxiety treatment wtf