Funny Tweets

I threw a kid in the well, don't ask me i'll say he fell. I will regret this in hell but he was in my way! ;)

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

I either want to spend my day going out & doing stuff with friends or I want to spend it in bed with zero human contact. No in between.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

god bless the people who upload tv shows and movies to the internet

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

A pizza a day keeps the sadness away.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

Do I care about what you think of me?

N
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　　　　 o
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　　　　　 o
　　　　　o
　　　　 。
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[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

Me studying:
Writes down 3 words
Checks twitter
Changes song
Gets food
Yawns
Contemplates life
Falls asleep

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

late night showers
late night conversations
late night adventures
late night snacks
late night memories

everything's better at night.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

if you hate me, it's ok.. i probably hate you back.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

women belong in the kitchen.

men belong in the kitchen.

everyone belongs in the kitchen.

kitchen has food

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

me: wow that exam was easy

*gets a 53*

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

Me in 7th grade: unattractive, socially awkward loser.

Me now: unattractive, socially awkward loser with good taste in music.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

I got 99 problems but I'm gonna take a nap and ignore them all

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

how I clean my room:
-starts at one corner
-finds something from 6 years ago and stares at it nostalgically for 5 hours
-goes to bed

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

parents: you spend too much time on the Internet, it's like you're addicted

me: fine can i go out

parents: no

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

me: what can possibly go wrong?

anxiety: im glad you asked

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

i say idk alot but trust me
i be knowin

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

I think too much
I think too much
I think too much
I think too much
I think too much
I think too much
I think too much

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

I take the L and R on my headphones
seriously.

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

How people set the Alarm:

Others - "7AM"

Me - "6.30 AM, 6.45 AM, 6.50 AM, 6.55 AM, 7 AM."

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

bae= bacon and eggs

[Funny Tweets @ItsComedyPosts]

can i unfollow my problems