Iskander

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Can I say something….

[BradyYourTutor @BradyYourTutor_]

Dad vs. Daughter

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Lmfaoooo too accurate

[wassieloyer @wassielawyer]

“Baby ah - we got BTO number”, she shouts from across the room.

The hairs on your skin shiver. Endorphins flood your brain. Your heart palpitates as it rapidly redirects blood to your half erect cock, quickly bringing it to full mast.

“What number?”, you ask cautiously, not wanting to get ahead of yourself.

“132” - she replies.

132. Out of a 976 unit development. 5 year MOP. Should be able to get mid-high floor. Without morning sun.

450 - 550k purchase price. 5% due now, the remaining 20% due on key collection.

Gahmen recently announced a new revitalisation programme for the area. New mall, new bicycle path, new MRT link.

Easy flip for 1m+ after 5 year MOP.

Finally the time has come for your ascension.

You gaze upon her, eyes filled with love. She has never looked so beautiful. Sitting there in her university T-shirt, phone in hand. Her red brown balayage hair pulled away from her acne scarred face in a low ponytail. You watch her pull a funny face as she updates her Instagram and besties Telegram group with a 5 second video.

Sure she’s a 5/10 by any objective measure. To anyone else, she is a mid SMU psychology student with questionable job prospects and bland hobbies (food 🍔and travel✈️❤️).

But to you - she is the angel of your financial ascension.

Years pass.

You have since graduated and now hold down an office job at Shoppee. So too has your wife, she does 'marketing and comms' at some SME. After three years of living with your parents, it is finally time to collect the keys.

You hand over the cashier's order for 100k to the HDB employee. It wasn't easy but between your savings, a loan from your ah ma and the angbao profits from your wedding (off-peak Thursday lunch reception @ Holiday Inn Orchard no open bar suckers!), you got there.

As you finish signing the papers, you mentally write up your net worth by 500k. Then you add an asterisk on it. Just in case you know. Your wife has just finished her selfies with the HDB sign and pulls you into a photograph with her.

You smile.

A few years pass.

"No lah! No lah!" - you exclaim loudly at a gathering of your secondary school friends who jest that you have 'made it already' because of your luck in securing your BTO. "Cannot sell la - still got MOP!"

But deep inside you smugly muse "Yes bro - I did fucking make it". A friend who became a lawyer humble brags about how busy he is and 'offhandedly' drops his salary and how much he spends on rent. "Sucker paying other people's mortgage" you quietly muse as you sip on your mug of Tiger.

As you return home you observe your wife being dropped off by her handsome ang moh colleague in an Audi. She laughs as he hands her the Chanel handbag she bought on Atome and waves her goodbyes. The wide smile on her slightly red face - a smile you haven't seen in years - fades slightly as she sees you.

"We had team drinks and Thomas offered to drop me off. Very nice of him."

"Yea ok cool" - you reply, unsure if you want to start another fight.

Sensing the tension, she tries to change the subject.

"Oh by the way ah, I spoke to my secondary school friend Celine. She in real estate now. She say ah - that our unit probably can sell 1.1 - 1.2m+ when MOP leh!"

You smile - blood returning to your phallus.

2 long years pass.

"Thank you Sir" - the DBS banker smiles warmly as you hand him the signed housing loan agreement.

After eight arduous years, you were finally able to dump your HDB on the next sucker for over 1.1m. After agent fees etc, you got away with a clean profit of over 500k.

And today marks the culmination of your ascension to the condo class.

A 2 bedroom condo in the newly TOPed Merdeka Jewel - 750 square feet at $3000 per square foot at 2.25m. Sure it is a little smaller than your 990 square foot HDB but its not like you need that much room. Your wife made it abundantly clear that she does not want to have kids because she is 'too busy focusing on her career' (although you still question what the fuck her actual job is).

Rolling your savings and your HDB profits into the 25% down payment and taking the 30 year loan at 2.6% interest was a no brainer. 8k a month in mortgage payments seem steep but is manageable. As long as you both keep working. I mean it will all pay off right? Singapore property is up only after all.

You look to your wife and her Chanel handbag. She smiles back at you, she too celebrating her ascension to the condominium class. You can hear the gears in her head turn, the dopamine firing at the thought of all the likes her house tour video is going to get on Instagram.

"Ill be out tonight with friends" - you tell her. "Ya ok I got plans also" - she replies.

You text your real estate agent to confirm that you will exercise the option to purchase. Your cock is now fully erect at the thought of your ascension.

Then you go on WeChat and text Lanlan "我好想你 - 今晚见！❤️"

You smile and take in the Singapore sun.

Damn it feels good to be a Singaporean son.

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Damn I’m old

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[Andrey X @the_andrey_x]

I think this is the best picture I've ever taken

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

@donjackoghue Being able to search keywords/strings from chats would be nice. Like, if I was travelling and said hi to someone in their city, i‘d like to search “Lucas” to find the chat where he introduced himself, especially if it’s been a long time and the chat was buried under other chats

[Ryan Rozbiani @RyanRozbiani]

International Law is DEAD

It died when the ICC issued an arrest warrant for Netanyahu and NOT ONE country he visited enforced it.

The UN passed countless ceasefire resolutions for Gaza. Ignored. The ICJ ruled Israel's occupation of the West Bank and Gaza is ILLEGAL under international law. Also ignored.

When you start enforcing International Law for EVERYONE, then you can quote it.

[𝗘𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗰𝗮 『☁️🍩』 @Ericacaaa]

Todos es risas y amistad hasta que "traducido del hebreo" aparece

[Arnaud Bertrand @RnaudBertrand]

I checked and it's rather interesting that Singapore hasn't yet said a word - that I could find - about Trump's blockade of Hormuz when, if you listen to Balakrishnan's speech 👇, the EXACT same UNCLOS articles he cites - transit passage as an unconditional right - apply.

All the stranger because he said he was speaking "as a matter of principle and not because we're taking sides."

Funny how what he called "the constitution of the oceans" stops applying when it's the US Navy doing the blocking.

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

SGean here. Yeah Malaysia has better food and I guess the middle class in Malaysia does enjoy a better quality of life.

But to say that our whole ~raison d‘être~ is to look down on you guys is a kinda self-revealing.
We don’t think about you guys as much as you think we do.

[Porkchop Express @Porkchop_EXP]

I love it how this triggered the Singaporeans.

I love Singapore, but it’s very obvious to me that their whole national raison d’être is to put Malaysia down. They are still majorly butthurt that they were supposedly kicked out of the union (when in reality they wanted to leave, as they should have) and they seem to have some kind of inferiority complex where they just have to constantly put Malaysia down. It’s very easy to believe their trash talk about Malaysia if you’ve never been to Kuala Lumpur (and we should compare large city to city only). Of course Malaysia isn’t as developed as Singapore, but it’s nowhere as bad as they like to paint it. The truth is Malaysia is one of the most powerful nationalities right up there with the Singaporean passport (see the list of the first world passports for the automatic passport scan gates in the EU) and Singaporeans just can’t deal. Won’t go into details here - Kuala Lumpur does fall short on some aspects as compared to Singapore - but the reality is that a middle class employee has a much better quality of life in KL than in Singapore (they can actually afford cars and condos) while a middle class Singaporean is stressed and rushed and packed into crowded public transport and tiny HDBs. Also Singapore isn’t as rich or truly developed first world country as they like to imagine it - there is a lot of hidden poverty and misery in Singapore (you see severely disabled people having to sell tissues to survive or the very elderly having to work), and how they treat their maids and laborers is as bad, if not worse, as in poor countries. At least middle class Malaysians can afford to put their maids in a room larger than a literal box, unlike Singaporeans.

[serialboel @serialboel]

Sendai Colony with WALL-E

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Don’t know a lick of Spanish but “Chappel Roan como Voldemort” and the pic of that kids face was enough to infer 😭

[guilérme @DesturbioMental]

alguma coisa me incomoda muito na cara desse menino e eu nao sei explicar oq é, queria que colocassem a chappell roan como voldemort pra dar um coió nele

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

@donjackoghue You’re a legend for that! It’s well appreciated man I wish you nothing but success ahead 🤞🏻

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

I have never seen such German poetry before in my life

[(retired) r@dd€ @TvvitterRadde]

die amis fressen einfach die gummifußmatte ausm ford fiesta von meinem angeheiratetem onkel dieter als schokolade

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

🙈😗

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

Lmfaoooo dawg

[Obed @salinechicken35]

Ofc she kept the weapon on in the primary school

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

This has got to be bait right. Why make yourself annoying to people around you, especially colleagues who probably don’t even care that much to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, practice it as much as you want but if you’re gonna yap about any religion imma have to ask you to stop.

[Eigen @faintlimits]

If you’re a muslim in a non-Muslim workplace you need to be non-chalant maxxing about Islam. You need to be saying “I’m gonna go pray” out loud. You need to announcing and talking about it like they’re Muslim too. Especially if you wear the hijab, trust me they’re very curious.

[Iskander @ItsIsk]

“don’t force me to be horny” umm what