Elon Jnonymusk

Welcome Internets. I write. I write stories. I write poetry. I write sketches. I write web comics. I write rhymes. I write nonsense. I write away. I write now.

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

Another show, another contest between my wife and I over which of us is going to run away to Catsachusetts with @birbigs #TheOldManandThePool

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

*Gentlemen, gentlewomen, and gentlethem

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

What's a polite way to ask a coworker to "get the fuck out of my face with their bullshit?" Asking for a friend from work.

[DSA International Committee @dsa_intl_comm]

Today we mourn the countless freedom fighters from Ireland, India, Kenya, and other former colonies who lost their lives struggling for independence from the British government and monarchy. In their honor, we are sharing some threads summarizing the crimes of this empire 🧵

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

I can't overstate how angry the continued glorification of the British royal family makes me. Thoughts and prayers to my Irish cousins, don't celebrate too hard tonight

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

TIL this guy grew up to be Senator Josh Hawley

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

More like Abbott Emmy-mentary, right?

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

Why don't they just make the whole brisket out of burnt ends?

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

If this doesn't end with Randall on the Iron Throne then what even was the point?

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

If you're working on a writing project and not spending 90% of your time on creating the perfect writing playlist, iunno, are you even a writer?

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

The week before Mother's Day? Wow

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

@emkantor Same. But I get it now. I'm a macaroon.

And that's okay.

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

@emkantor This tweet speaks to me on a personal level.

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

How did people know do things like normal people before you could google "how to do things like a normal person"?

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

I don't know why people decide they want to sit next to me (a giant) on a two-seater and make us both uncomfortable for the entire trip but I assume it's racially motivated

[steve suckington @SteveSuckington]

"What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me"

-guy who invented sports

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

Normalize crying on the train ride home from work

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

I think we've all learned two important things from this: 1, too many people can't tell the difference between a punch and and slap and 2, too many people have completely forgotten about the actual victim of this story

[King Saturday 2nd @KingSaturday2nd]

Wow, Chris Rock got Hitch slapped #Oscars #Oscars2022

[Elon Jnonymusk @ItsJnonymous]

More like #OscarsSoFight, am I right?