itsmytwopennies

Just a P1 with periodic random thoughts. Have you ever thought about it?

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Have you ever had one of those cigarette packs where the top half of the cellophane is impossible to get off? How about while high? Fuck. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

When I'm in a group text, everyone else says way more words than me. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Spent all weekend getting squiffed and listening to It's Just Banter. I feel I'm ready for the Cowboys now. #IJB #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

When in doubt and low on money, trust the store brand. Except for tampons and ketchup. No connection. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Butters is the best South Park character. #Hamburgers #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I was going to make bacon and eggs, but the next thing I know I'm cooking two grilled cheese sandwiches. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I'm tired of these $3 pizza cutters (the kitchen gadgets, not actual humans who cut pizza) that suck at their job, I'm just going to buy a samurai sword. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I'm here to announce that #GreenShirtGuy is in the IMTP Hall of Fame. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Reading glasses don't come in sizes. So I guess we all have the same ear to eye to nose measurements. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Even loners get lonely. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Your greatest love will never be returned. Sorry to break the news. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Skinny dipping. That phrase makes zero sense. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Some dude who looks like Kevin Cronin just walked past my patio. It's the year 2019. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I kind of want to be a websleuther. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

Undergarments is a funny word. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I'm thinking of getting into Funyans. And not half assed. I mean in a big way. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I think that Jack from the Jack in the Box commercials is my favorite pothead. Apologies, Kevin Smith. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

In Rhode Island, it is illegal to impersonate an auctioneer. That's a pretty legit law. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

I don't think I've ever played Rock, Paper, Scissors. #ItsMyTwoPennies

[itsmytwopennies @ItsMyTwoPennies]

"Y" is the sparest of vowels. I mean, any vowel that is preceded by "and sometimes" sounds like a last resort vowel to me. #ItsMyTwoPennies