I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter

🏳️‍🌈 Politics/food/art/commentary/stuff. I prefer posts about what’s going on in your city or country rather than re-Tweets. G’head talk.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Don’t know why but today I was learning about “Penguin Decays.” Very rare.

Still don’t understand them but I find it terribly amusing that Penguin Decays were named in 1977–as a result of bar bet! The kicker is—atomically speaking—they kinda look like a penguin!

I love physics!

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Trump put his own name on John F. Kennedy’s memorial.

What a tactless, petty monster Trump is.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@Missy_Murdoch 😘😘😘😘😘

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

NY Knicks to Trump: Hahahahaha. No.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Alabama?😂🤣😂🤣😂😵‍💫😘

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

U.S. states with their first letter removed

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@theliamnissan “Toaster oven-headed!” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Hahaha! Nate Bargatze?

No.

FU and your horses, Nate!

https://t.co/bsZqAStD4V

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Iran: Please don’t throw me in the briar patch!

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

I feel like an ex- is stalking me.

Wait.

What now?

Shit. Am I stoned?

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

If I was a member of a military band, I would definitely acquire a date-specific colon virus that prevented me from participating in this historic event.

Damn spellcheck.

I meant HISTRIONIC!

Trump and his damned histrionics.

[Andrew Egger @EggerDC]

"The problem with Trump is how he keeps proving his critics, who deserve to be wrong, right"

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

OMG. Live from Shinnecock!! How did I not know it was that time of year?

It’s not the golf that draws me there but the birding; the tree-covered old roads, the occasional flat grain fields, ending at the Long Island Sound.

In winter, the dead end roads up there are spectacular.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

G’head. Have ya little fist fights.

I just hope this weather radar prediction is correct for later this evening.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@hrob57r7 This little bit of yellow refuses to be paved over!

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@1527Ka @sjgiardini The gators don’t like clear water! They don’t like it when you can see them!!!

Sneaky bastids!

You’ll find most gators in muddy water.

Or worse—suddenly underfoot on a trail….

Oh my.

AKA Murder Logs.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

I feel like celebrating Flag Day.

I think I’ll host a bare-knuckle fist fight on my front lawn….

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

According to Trump, MMA represents the gold standard of his aspirations for our nation.

Also, it’s his birthday and all the cake is for him!

Fuck you.

https://t.co/pqMjc7w5YV

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Doing DAYS worth of fun stuff for M’s b’day this year!

Yesterday 3 of us did 5 hours of birding.

Today 4 of us laughed SO HARD at RuPaul’s new movie, “Stop That Train,” then went to Nat’s to watch hours upon hours of Drag Race.

My sides hurt.

Already forgot what’s tomorrow!

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@DrPopCultureUSA The Monkees as a unit was hysterical.

Michael Nesmith alone was not.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Why they keep giving @SRuhle a hard time? She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s a woma… ooh.

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

Leave it to Trump to use a giant handkerchief to hide the inevitable result of his latest attempt at jacking off in public.

Or maybe they’re removing John Kennedy’s name! OMG, can someone check!

[I Can’t Believe I’m Not Butter @ItsOneWildLife]

@JoJoFromJerz What’s up with the tarp? Did they grow tired of all the laughter and cheering?

And are we SURE those workers aren’t removing Kennedy’s name?