Iver Parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Six year old (at dinner): “did you know food is the eggs of poop?”

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My 4 year old, upon seeing a soda can in the garbage can at preschool: “Hey, who put their beer in the garbage?!” #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My four year old just yelled “I’M SO IMPRESSED WITH YOU” at me in anger. I’m choosing to take it as a compliment even though that was clearly not his intent. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My 3-year-old pronounces America as “McMerica” and I think he might be more correct. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

3-year-old: “Oh my tummy is getting really full of yellow jello.”

Me: “Where did you find yellow jello?”

3-year-old: “In my nose.”

#parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

3-year-old: “Can I have candy?”

Me: “no.”

3-year-old: *whines* “But I’m really good at candy!”

#parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My 3 year old climbed in bed with us during the night. The next morning, I asked him how he slept.

His reply: “I slept really bad because daddy was farting out of his mouth all night!”

I feel you, dude. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Today I learned that my 6 year old can see the speedometer from the backseat. And that he can read it. And that he knows how it relates to speed limit signs on the road.

So that’s been fun. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Sometimes I think I’m a pretty decent parent. And sometimes I hear my kids say things like “Yay, I get water!!” #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Parents: “Remember kids, say ‘Trick or Treat! Thank you!”
Kids: “Got it!”

*First house*

Kids (monotone): “Candy please…”
3 year old: “little bit more…little bit more…little bit more”

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

2-year-old: “Mommy, I need you!”
Me: ”Why?”
2-year-old: “I need to whine at you!”
#parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

I was getting my two-year old dressed this morning. This was his response:

“Pants?! What?! Where are we going????” #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My 6-year-old just tattled on my 2-year-old for smiling at him because “he might be smiling because he came up with a good idea about how to be mean to me.” #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My two-year-old’s response to me asking him to do anything: “How ‘bout you do it!” (said in the cutest voice possible) #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Apparently the desire to invite the Target cashier to your birthday party is a genetic trait that both my kids inherited. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Two-year-old demanded a cup of lemon juice. I reminded him that it is sour. He didn’t care. I poured him a cup and took a video, expecting some hilarious sour-faces footage. Instead, I got a video of him downing a cup of straight lemon juice and asking for more. #parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Me: “Are you going to be good during your brother’s swimming lesson?”

Two-year-old: “uhh…nope!”

At least he’s honest?

#parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Me: “Pick out what kind of cereal you want for breakfast!”

Two-year-old:

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

Mom: “Hey, I have a question…”

2-year-old: *whines* “I want a question!”

#parenting

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

@michaelrscales If the mullet happens, pics will definitely happen!

[Iver Parenting @IverParenting]

My six year old wants a mullet. He explained it to me, reasonably: “I want the front short so it stays out of my face and the back so long I can braid it.”

I’m torn between letting him be his own person…and guiding him to not be that person. #parenting