shae

mom said I can go to club rodeo

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

“Everything” bagel WITH cream cheese? Sounds like it didn’t have everything on it after all

[Spinachbrah 🥗 @basedspinach]

I ❤️ stimulants

[teenage sex and death at cab cutie @ManuclearBomb]

waking up hungover next to my cat waiting for breakfast

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

STOP THE CAR

[The Shallow State @OurShallowState]

Mitch McConnell's medical team says he is "still having issues with breathing." This is a very common side effect to not being alive.

[Erich @platypusjones]

My pet peeve is the fact that our entirely computerized banking system still pretends that it can't process deposits on a weekend or holiday.

[BuffaloRon @BuffaloRon]

these flock cameras are getting out of hand....

[𝔇𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔰 𝔈𝔤𝔤 @castingahex]

phone, wallet, the curse, keys, vape

[jess @trubloodtv]

IM CRYING

[cav empty @cavempty_]

i fucks with you heavy my liege

[exquisite corpse @chickpeasy]

before you walk into my apartment you should know it’s a hostile environment towards asexuals, outside shoes, and the polyamorous

[MisterJ🩻❤️‍🔥 @SwiftCraft13]

They did this at work to me today

[CeladonVA 💫🦴 @Celadon_VA]

to the person trying to log into my account your code was 739 010! sorry i was asleep

[Rice President Thomas Cruise @mollypilled]

They should have a Drug of the Day at the pharmacy that you can sample

[️sof @sodazerosugar]

who else scratchin their nether regions

[dick genital @dick_genital]

My bitch girlfriend broke up with me just because I have eczema and athlete’s foot and ringworm and jaundice and plaque psoriasis and scabies and pinkeye and diabetic thrush and diphtheria and whooping cough and jock itch and leprosy

[Mia K. @miakhalifa]

You gotta soak your beans overnight. Bitches don’t soak their beans overnight anymore

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

It should’ve been Me not Dolly