Jarret Beurman

been around the world twice, seen everybody once

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

"From here on out it's all a Razor scooter on a gravel road"

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

@DietCokeVEVO Just reminded me mine is due this week so I will return it on time #redemption ?

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Been a little over zealous with my tortilla chip eating lately I am damaging my mouth

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

neil young my goat

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

I think short story writers feel the need to end on a major mic drop moment so it’s kinda refreshing when they don’t

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Feeling like a fucking freak for sending my Dutch Bros order

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Queued up a 10min song on touchtunes and we had to leave 😔

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

@hoosiercommish Chicken shawarma wrap and lentil soup from Falafel & Grill or Taste of Lebanon

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Trader Joes is funneling guava products down my throat

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Fantasy football punishment is you have to go Walden

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Playing with the letterboxd fishies

[Astrel 🐸 @Astrel_Ninja]

Listen to this video and you’ll never hear the same song again

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

I actually don’t believe in tornadoes

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

@btownmoose wasn’t it Jesus who said “one cannot live on radio gaga alone”

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Serotonin

https://t.co/kX7pqALVsJ

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Back on my tea shit, we brewing kukicha

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

@jessperatetimes Karma goated

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Somebody hotboxed Chicago

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

In the third grade asking the librarian for a book on how to counterfeit money

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

It was a good weekend for urinals. Here we have a slender sexy urinal and a chill baphomet

#urinaltweets

[Jarret Beurman @JBeurman]

Thoughts and prayers. This urinal is hooked up to IV and doesn’t have long to live

#urinaltweets