Jason Shapiro

Met Bob Dole 07/09/93. @LosFelizDayCare (he/him)

[Los Feliz Daycare @LosFelizDaycare]

scarlet (102 weeks) at sphere:

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

I used to think that EST. before a date meant “estimated” like “we don’t exactly know when this was established but we’ll find out”

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

already cried twice watching toy story 2 with my almost 2 and 4.5 year olds “you’re growing up and it’s gonna feel like a long time for you but a short time for me” 😭

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

Wemby should have spend 2 more minutes with the Dalai Lama

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

i don’t even know what I’m saying “oh lord” about anymore

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

whenever I pass away I want that to be at target

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

Antony making an astute observation.

Me: “Antony is not allowed to say that as the food guy”

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

just walked up to some cops outside of sportsmans lodge and said you absolutely have to find nancy guthrie

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

omg the guy from is this thing on

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

this is being received warmly

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

someone who I live with who is not a child is about to take a dump at a children’s birthday party

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

last week i was in a place of “blood in handkerchief”

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

it took literally everything I had but I stopped myself from asking a woman with an accent if she was from australia

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

Eternity is upbeat black mirror

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

Where would Mary Kate and Ashley spend eternity

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

based on instagram, we had the worst new years out of anyone

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

yearly reminder that christmas needs to be spooky

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

“what is any of this?” re: your spotify wrapped

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

We are in perfect, holy union between Black Friday and Cyber Monday. I wish the whole World could experience the pure joy and pleasure I get from deals, steals, and doorbusters (amen). God bless y’all.

[Jason Shapiro @JDShapiro]

i just signed shrimp in all areas