john derrland

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Ooh, shit, motherfucker, God damn
Kickin' bitches out the condo like Pam
I walk light, so I don't piss the ground off
Man, I swear my bitches do it 'til they suck the brown off
Ew, that's nasty
Yes, I am Weezy, but I ain't asthmatic
James Bond cologne, honey I put on

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

#relaxpal

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

That game from bijan was beautiful

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

@mightaswelldrop This place fuckin rocks

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

@mightaswelldrop How’s the game

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

God I’m so fucking excited

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

One play at a time. Six seconds a play. Every play has a life and a history of its own. Fast Physical Relentless. Eleven guys doing their job is multiplication not addition. Smart disciplined poised. Not affected by success or failure. Onto the next play.

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

This looks so good damn

[brendan fraser in the mummy @Wayneb2010]

A plate like this after swimming in a lake will change your life

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Course this happens when I got a fudge dragon

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Fun fact of the day. Pigs are smarter than dogs, and they can absorb oxygen through their buttholes #learnsomethingneweveryday

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

+6 armor -1 hp

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Only a handful of showers until NFL football #buzzing

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Why does my johnson get so active on planes? #puzzled

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

My piss smells gnarly today

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Why is forfeited not spelled forfitted? #puzzled

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

@VitaleKnowsBall Nice Dick

[Fam(ILL)yguy @Slimelifeeee]

The type of guys you see at bowling alleys in small Midwest towns.

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

When 2 morning poops intertwine to produce a seamless duet of unique odors #iykyk

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Kirk fucking lanta #luhbaby

[john derrland @JDerrlandIU]

Kirk fucking lanta