James Dolerian

Watt brother super fan and book lover. Single father of 3 wonderful adoptions.

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

All good ball clubs have:

A black lead off

A douchey shortstop hitting .220

A right fielder who looks like he’s 32

A wiry freshman on the bump getting nuked on

A catcher who has lats ripping out of his skin

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

Just got arrested for “beef stewing an unattended toddler in the Lied Jungle.” No one lets me have fun anymore

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

She ghosted me when I suggested bloons tower defense 3

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

I’m the rabbit master, I take care of all the rabbits

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

@karenmotherof2 Mr. Endlessness

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

He’s in your nooks and crannies

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

How scary it would be to be trapped with a silver back gorilla. A T-Rex is two biting that shit

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

A spinosaurus was known to be longer than a school bus

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

Been really into dinosaurs lately

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

I’m like a stray dog who’s eating your cheese. I’ll bite your hand if you touch my cheese

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

Rory was electric. He’s probably raising his heels to get the last bit of poop out right now before bed

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

My washing machine and I have the biggest rivalry in college sports

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

Life’s a moving canvas. Let’s paint it

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

Dude in the stall next to me was so mad that I wiped poop on his ankles. Like relax man shower when you get home

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

I guess I’ll just pee when I get there

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

The team that executes is the team that wins football games

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

I need a little more caloric density from my lunches. I’m chasing satiation

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

@sir_phd It would surely spark an interest

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

@sir_phd Kevin’s a sucker for velo

[James Dolerian @JDolerian]

My son’s first name will be exit. His middle name will be velocity