James Farquad

💡Exiled heir to the Chuck E. Cheese throne | Professional Fish whisperer 🐟 | 5’10” But growing | Currently banned from 12 buffets & counting | Go Cubs 🐻

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Local tender just served me straight root beer after I asked if he supported the venezuelan oil contract. Time to hit the road jack.

#gocubs

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

@danielsjack79 Honestly couldn’t disagree more.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

BREAKING NEWS:

Wizards receive Giannis Antetokounmpo in a three way deal involving the Milwauke bucks, The Brooklyn Jail, and Washington Wizards.

Wizards Acquire- Nicholás Maduro and Antetokounmpo

Bucks Acquire- Tre Johnson

Brooklyn Jail Acquires- 6ix9ine

Per Source: @NBA

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Are the rumors true about Philip Rivers being a cuck?

Please someone help clarify this mess, if proven true he would totally move down a few spots to my 33rd favorite NFL qb of all time.

Colts nation, I am sorry to be the bearer of this bad news.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Nfl players I would let date my daughter:

1. Justin Tucker
2. Tyson Bagent
3. David Njoku….. not

That behemoth would crush my poor baby girl, fuck the browns.

Bears by a million tomorrow🐻

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Teanna Trump just pulled up to my hometown bar and swallowed my bi-sexual homie.

Top 10 things that never happened.

Go cubs 🐻

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Just blew by a “No Kings” protest screaming fuck the free world.

Stupid pedophiles, go dress up like a flamingo you tyrants.

Go Cubs.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Cubs Win, I Drink!

Just finished a 5th of fireball and missed the 7th inning and came back to a fucking slamma jamma of a win.

Israel controls our government, do not trust the elites.

We want our freedom back.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Cubbies win, what a battle from the boys!

Also- who the hell left an upper decker in my bathroom?????? Must’ve been a royals fan. I am livid, fuck the royals.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

PSA: The iowa hawkeyes, my favorite team in the nation will never be big 10 champions again. You ask why? Couldn’t fuckin tell ya, fire ferentz.

What a bumblefuck of a team, sad to say I am a supporter.

Go Cubs.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Go Cubs

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

What’s happening may you ask. James Fucking Farquad to the rescue.

The state of immigration in the U.S of A has quite frankly spiraled. Our president or in other words “God” has made our nation a force of power and unity. Get these funky people out of here.

Lick Dick Commies

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

@GeneralMCNews FDA- Flying Douche Association. Do not tell me what I can and can’t eat from walmart. How about you go shove your regulations up your pie hole.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

@danielsjack79 I hear ya Herby

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

Just got caught boofing an excedrin at work! Least to say my boss was pissed

Hell yeah, damn right, come on.

Go cubs.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

@danielsjack79 God Shamgod

I love this little life.

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

You ever wake up hungover on the thought that maybe just maybe, brian cushing could have been the best backer of all time?

His ferocious performance and diligent read of the offense made him a force to be reckoned with on the other side of the ball.

I love this little life,

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

@danielsjack79 and I just molested the eyes today! Quite the happy ending Herb gave me after filleting these bad boys.

We have so much fun together and I love this little life!

[James Farquad @JFarquadLife]

First Post- Not sure how the hell this works yet. Just know that I am giving this little life all i got. The moon landing was fake and so are Kim K’s tata’s! Haaaaaa!

Can’t wait to wake up and start another day, in the morning.

Go Cubs. 🐻