Julia Goldish

I only 80% know how to work this app

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

When I have my hair curly and no makeup on, I look a lot like Mark Ballas

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Sombr body soooo teaaaa

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

How are people named Al doing right now. Like, do people think their names are AI not AL. Anyway…

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

What are you talking about?! I’m jubilant as hell

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

TAKE OUT THE MAN BUN

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Fuck ya chimichurri

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

How can I top 2025? I was quoted in the New York Times?! I was talking about pizza but still

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

I love memes. I just sit and laugh and sit and laugh

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Why are we carpeting airports

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Marinara mouth corners or blue raspberry tongue

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

I’m upset because my younger sister told me my nails look like teeth. I don’t even know what that means but I’m more upset because she’s so right. 10 extra chompers.

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

If a man can get in and out of a hammock without giving me the ick, I know he’s the one

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Eating sour candy makes me feverish

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Singers open their nostrils soooo much. It’s not that deep

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

I say no to man on scooter

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Should I be a sexy slam poet for Halloween

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

And I’ll always accept all cookies, because I’m inclusive

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

I’ll forget things and be like oh ya that was because I used to let my head smack against the school bus window on the way to field trips. Like, no one asked

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

Pulled my hamstring in a dance battle

[Julia Goldish @JGoldish]

My least favorite fabrics. So tacky.
1. Crushed velvet
2. Feathers (not a fabric but I hate)
3. Suede