Jimboswelt

A magical world of unicorns and rainbows.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@awkwardgoogle Better than anything at the Winter Olympics.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@Emilio2763 And yet…weed is still illegal.

[Lori @Cornjerker78]

Me to alien:
I, too, try to live among people undetected

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

Those small, truly underappreciated things in life can go fuck themselves.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@matt_vanswol On to Newark Airport next. They need your guidance now more than ever.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@MrAndyNgo I pity and pray for all those who’s commute is fucked.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@BernieSanders @AOC @GregCasar @StevenHorsford Which oligarchs are funding the tour??

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@DelusionPosting It’s a Sasquatch breeding ground. Can’t.

[Slim Plimsoll @slimplimsoll]

I’m easily the prettiest alcoholic in this stolen tractor.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@ZeddFred Parent teacher conference.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@_we_love_food https://t.co/Fk2uKgpX6Q Asparagus pee rap 🔥🔥🔥

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@ItsBBQRay IBS

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@EpicClipVault Gastric Bypass

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@hashjenni At least 2.7 years in human life.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

As soon as I opened the bag, I knew: dying of radiation poisoning and eating black licorice are the same.

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

@TrumpBaroon Constipated

[Valyrian Fire 🐉 @turtledumplin]

Where can I apply to become a heathen?

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

Really happened. #berlin #streik #damn #notagain

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

I mean it’s the 21st century. We sit at the pinnacle of human technological advances. Mars is within realistic reach....and then the #skyticketde app comes out and puts humanity back 20 years. AOL dial up would do a better job. #skyticket

[Jimboswelt @JIMBOSWELT]

Why do you even bother? Please just give the #Bundesliga up, take a shovel, dig a hole, and then invite all of the people you rip off religiously to come and throw dirt over you. #skyticket #skyticketde